Showing posts with label order more Beluga from Fortnums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label order more Beluga from Fortnums. Show all posts

Monday, July 30, 2007

Cone Fishing

Zillions of millionaires on Ramsgate beach this afternoon. It seems summer has finally arrived!

Clearly we're now well into the silly season. Parliament has broken up, with old One Eye Brown off to stay with his brand new chum Camp David. The kiddy-diddlers at the BBC (a survey out today shows 60% of adults now trust the BBC less since scandals such as the faked Blue Peter phone-in) have all scarpered to their villas in Tuscany, leaving the viewers to digest endless repeats. And, as you can see by the headline on this post, I'm rapidly running out of ideas for atrocious puns.

So it's time for a bit of a break. There are ice creams to be licked, bottles of Krug to be popped, and an autobiography to be written. But like the Beeb, I'll be bunging up a few repeats, and who knows, if something interesting happens I might even be persuaded to comment on it. As I've always said: You can't get rid of me that easily!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Late Night Line Up

Whilst making an emergency gin run to the local Murco/Costcutter just now, I observed the following interchanges take place through the late night, plate glass security grille:

First (tracksuited) customer: Can o' Stellaaar 'n er packet o' blue Rizlaaars.
Costcutter dude: £1.30
Second (suited) customer: Do you have any crumpets?
Costcutter dude: Uh?
Second (suited) customer: Round, bread type things. You eat them with butter.
Costcutter dude: Uh?
Second (suited) customer: No, no, you probably don't stock those. Do you have any croissants?
Costcutter dude: Uh?
Second (suited) customer: Croissants?
Costcutter dude: Uh?
Second (suited) customer: A bit like cakes? You have them at breakfast.

With all us millionaires piling into the area, surely it's about time they opened a 24 hour Fortnums Express round here?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Who Wants To be In A Millionaires Magazine?

I do. Well, I am, to be more precise. Alongside articles about Johnny Depp and 'high-end dating'. Take a look.

If that doesn't put my career back on track, I don't know what will!