Bob's Not A Turn-On

With speculation rife as to which civic dignitaries will get to hob-nob with Bob when he comes to turn on the Christmas lights in Margate tomorrow (He's still coming, is he? - Ed.), I notice the news hasn't gone down that well with online readers of the music biz bible NME. I suspect his testimonials will be glowing red hot when he reads the two comments so far, viz:

He really is the most talentless, tedious prick. Just remind us again what you're supposed to be famous for Bob, apart from being a great self-publicist?

And

Bob Geldof = Muppet. Along with his idiot daughter, peaches!!

Meanwhile I hear bets are being taken as to what the track-suited, pit bull tugging burghers of Margate will be chanting at the ceremony. Favourites so far are:

You're uglier than us!

Just give us your fucking money!

And

Bob, Bob, Bob
On, On, On
Bob, Bob, Bob
Off, Off, Off
Bob, Bob, Bob
On, Off, On, Off!

Click here to read Bob story in NME

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Ho ho ho! I'm really getting into the festive spirit thanks to all the cards you've been sending! Here's a personalised one from reader Terracotta Glenn:
Ha ha, er, jolly good TG! Although as you know, I've yet to hit 30, so I'm only at the 'Money, Money, Sex' stage. Maybe it's a spot of payback for all the times I've published that photo of you in the giant Chinese warrior outfit. Moving swiftly on, and reader Mr X has sent me this card based on a Margate nativity scene:

Keep them coming!