Happy Birthday To Me!

As usual, I'll be spending my 29th birthday today opening the sackload of cards and prezzies that have been arriving all morning here at the old cliff top mansion. Feel free to add your birthday wishes!

Touched By Your Presents, Dear

With my 29th birthday only a couple of days away the glitterati are already assembling here at the old cliff top mansion for a weekend of fun and frolics! And the presents are pouring in! I got this, er, moral compass from my old chum the Archbish:

And JG popped round, as ever generosity personified:

So I'll be hors de combat for a few days. Shame really, as I'd lined up a few corkers for you, viz:

- District Auditor raps Wigan Council for bending the rules in their haste to grant CGP planning permission for their oop north Chinese business park
- CGP posts £7.8m loss for the six months to May 31, up from £445,000 a year ago
- Why flights from 'convenient' RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport end up in a minibus trip from Gatwick
- 'Disillusioned' local Tory councillor set to relocate to Panama. With or without canoe.

Ah well, they'll just have to wait. The Krug is chilling, the Beluga is in the fridge and the pool looks oh-so-inviting. I just hope Barrymore doesn't gatecrash the party again this year!

Those Crazy Finns!

I'm kicking back a bit today. It's my birthday. 29. At least, that what it says on the publicity handouts. I'm pretty philosophical about it. After all, as the great Finnish ski jumper Matti Nykänen once said: 'Tomorrow is always the future'. That was after he went on to become a boozed-up cabaret singer and male stripper, one assumes.

Actually there's a bit of a Finnish theme to today's celebrations, as I've booked my old Eurovision-winning chums Lordi to play in the marquee here at the CTM. I'm taking their advice and freezing some vodka to use as ice cubes in the, er, vodka.

Ah yes, they're a great bunch, the Finns. Open, honest and direct, as this clip amply demonstrates: