The Smell Of Margate

In Memoriam
Ronnie Biggs
Former Great Train Robber and Small Time Crook

So, farewell
Then Ronnie Biggs.

'I do not intend
To return to England.'
That was
Your catchphrase.
And 'I miss the smell of Margate.'

Keith's Dad says he had dinner
With you in Rio once.

And that you were
Let out of Belmarsh
Five years ago
Because you were
At death's door.

Sad to say
The Grim Reaper
Has finally nabbed you.
And Margate
Doesn't quite smell
The same either.

E. C. Richard (29)

Bride And Broom

Winter draws on, as my old showbiz 'mum' Mollie Sugden used to quip, so I've been thinking about getting the chimneys swept here at my cliff top mansion.

Riffling throught the Yellow Pages, my glass eye alighted on the above advertisement for JLS Electrical Sweep, who is apparently available for weddings. Now, as Dick Van Dyke memorably informed us, a sweep is as lucky as lucky can be, but Ramsgate must surely be one of the last remaining places where cramming a large brush up your flue is regarded as a guarantee of reaching your diamond wedding anniversary with ne'er a harsh word. Still, it apparently worked (so far at least) for my snooker playing chum Stephen Hendry, who had a sweep in attendance at his wedding in 2003. So who am I to argue?

Mention of Mollie Sugden there reminded me of the dearly departed Ronnie Hazlehurst, who passed on to that great sitcom in the sky this week. Ronnie was the man who penned the theme tunes to many of the best known sitcoms and comedy programmes of the past 30 years, including Yes Minister, The Two Ronnies (three if you include him), and of course Are You being Served? I was astonished to read in one of the obituaries that the theme to Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em actually spells out the title of the programme in morse code. The man was a genius and we shall not see his like again. Sniff.

Ronnie Hazlehurst obituary