Plane Jane Takes A Flight Of Fancy

Holy planet-boilers! My normally level-headed chum, lovely Boredstares writer Jane Wenham-Jones, has gone to Manchester to speak at the annual Woman's Weekly Live! event.

Nothing out of the ordinary in that. Except she's chosen to fly there via Holland from RAF London Kent Manston Margate Tracey Emin Maggie Thatcher Schipol International Airport!

Talk about carbon positive! Any right-minded, environmentally conscious celeb would have driven there in their Toyota Priapus, or taken the train. But JW-J is so besotted with the idea of Richard Branson commandeering RAFLKMMTEMTSIA and turning it into a trillion-passenger-a-month uber-hub on her doorstep, she was apparently determined to let the plane take the strain.

Oh well, I gather her 9.35am KLM flight from Manston was delayed until 11.10am, meaning she didn't get to the centre of Manchester until 3pm. With an hour's check-in time, that makes the journey about six and a half hours, whereas the train would have got her door-to-door in just over four hours, and at roughly the same price, when you add the cost of cabs to and from airports.

Then again, I hear she's currently obsessed with a pilot. A TV pilot, that is, about wannabe writers, which she's presenting. I've popped a link to it on BoobTube down below. I guess she must be hoping that it'll, er, take off! (Geddit??!!!!???!!!!)

Update: Click here to see Plane Jane's justification in the Isle of Thanet Gazunder. Apparently it was plastic cups, along with 'wine and little salty biscuits' that persuaded her to feck the planet!

Vote For Plain Jane!

As one (if not the) superstar of the Thanet creative writing firmament, I like to give a helping hand to struggling local authors. Apart from the fat, hypocritical, thin-skinned ones from Margate that is, who seem to think it's fair game to bite the helping hand that feeds them. But no, I promised I wouldn't go there again. Besides, there's no more I can do on that score that a decent spellchecker couldn't accomplish.

So it is that I bring to your attention something I stumbled upon on the interthingo the other day, whilst I was cruising for a cottage in the Kent countryside as a possible retreat from the madding metropolis that is the Millionaires' Playground. It seems that the Jane Austen de nos jours, et de notre ile, Jane Wenham-Jones... should I continue this in French? It would sort out the riff-raff, wouldn't it? No? Well, anyway, JWJ is up for the Booker Prize! Um, no, er, that should read the 'People's Book Prize', a prestigious literary accolade awarded by popular vote, very much like my own TV Times Award for Most Promising New Celebrity (1993).

Jane's excellent tome wannabe a writer? [Some capital letters might be a good start - Ed] is currently in fourth place with 327 people's votes, just behind three others, naturally enough. Topping the poll is some turgid read about the US and Russian empires, penned by no less an author than Brian Landers [Never heard of him - Ed] who just happens to be a director of Penguin.

So why not tool along and pop your electronic 'X' in the box for one of our local heroines? Surely she deserves it more than some publishing potentate? I know she lives in Broadstairs, but she can't help that, poor love. Go on, whaddya waiting for?!?!???!!!

Click here to register and vote for wannabe a writer?