Protocol Harem

Urgh. The old bonce is playing up, what with tossing on the high seas and all that fine food and drink last night. There's not been a moment when my head hasn't been in the head this morning.

Still, where was I? Oh yes. Catching up with correspondence. Regular contributor Walter tells me he's spotted some rare birds in Pegwell Bay. No, haha, no, er, nothing to do with top Thanet nudie Peter Checksfield. No, these were Alpine Swifts. For confirmation of that, take a gander at the Rare Bird Alert website. And here's a picture of one of the little fellers I found on the interwhatsit:

Speaking of things internetty, this email comes from Ron Councillor (not his/her real name I'm guessing):

Richard,

I am most concerned that Thanet Council has seen fit to introduce a 'Blogging Protocol'. This is nothing less than an attempt by the corrupt and incompetent Tory Administration to stifle freedom of speech and political criticism of their woeful inadequacies. I note that Councillor Moores specifically denied on your blog a few weeks ago that any such protocol was being contemplated, at a time when this protocol would in fact have been in the process of being drafted no doubt with his full knowledge. That illustrates the extent to which the Conservatives will go to dissimulate and mislead the media.

As far as I am aware Thanet Council is the only administration in the UK that has seen fit to introduce such censorship. Their Chinese friends, for whom Margate Old Town was blocked off recently causing distress to market traders who were not notified in advance of this decision, must approve wholeheartedly.

I have consulted with other members who also find this measure wholly unacceptable. If the council goes ahead with it, we will have no alternative but to disseminate our views through 'anonymous' blogs such as yours. To that end I have been charged with offering you a small consideration for the unrestricted use of your blog for such purposes should the need arise.

Yours sincerely,

Councillor Ron Councillor

Hmmm. Interesting. And a way of making a bit of dosh to stash away in Cyril's Jersey Cash Cow Fund to boot! I'm tempted!

Click here to read Thanet Council's Daft Blogging Protocol

Blogger Thy Neighbour

With all the hoo-ha that's doing the rounds over our beloved council's plan to gag its elected members' blogs, I suppose I should step into the fray, being the premier blog on the island. The scheme is the deformed brainchild of Tory cabinet member Councillor/Doctor Simon Moores and is being cooked up in conjunction with the council's Chief Exec Richard Samuel. (Good day Dr M and Mr S. I know you are both avid daily readers of my febrile jottings!)

Quite why Thanet Council should be spearheading a move which no other authority in the country has seen fit to even consider is beyond me. After all, the council's track record of spearheading anything is, er, not the best. And in the sphere of IT it seems to have a kind of reverse Midas touch. So much so that many refer to it as TDC's **IT department.

When the Tory leader and deputy leader have both troubled the standards people, and cost the council taxpayer tens of thousands, with their 'f*cking tosser' outbursts and petition-tossing shenanigans, it's ironic that the Blue Rinsers should now be considering a code of conduct for political bloggers. When I say 'political bloggers', what I suppose they mean is 'bloggers who don't concur with their politics', as I've yet to see Simon Moores or Ken Gregory, the only two blue bloggers on the isle, complain about their own or each other's blogs. Presumably it's the Labour bloggers - Cllrs Green, Harrison and Nottingham - who they want to gag.

In point of fact it's more than likely yours truly who they'd really like to strangle. Dr M has spent the best part of four years using all the techno-wizardy at his disposal attempting to uncover my identity in a vain hope that I might be that hairy socialist who represents Dingleberry Ward and who you don't see much at council meetings. Sorry to disappoint you Doc. As my old chum, the humourist and broadcaster David Quantick points out in one of his endless Grumpy Old Men books, this blog is 'essentially the diary of a boring bloke in Ramsgate with too much spare time on his hands'.

By the way, am I the only one who's getting grumpy about all the grumpy old books and spin-offs? At the last count there were 86 grumpy old tomes listed on Amazon along with 84 other items including one 'Beware grumpy old dog' gate sign. Surely it's jumped the shark? Time to consign it to '101 Uses For A Dead Concept' methinks!

Read about the proposal in the Gazunder
Grumpy old things on Amazon

So Who Is The Council Blog Snooper?

Answers on an email to the address in the sidebar.

Council Appoints Blog Snooper

Holy witch hunts! According to the front page of today's excellent yourfannitinnit (available free in the corner of all your favourite local stores, usually behind the twelve boxes of Haribo etc.) the isle's fervent blogging scene is 'ruffling feathers at Thanet Council'.

Apparently the Uranians have now assigned a 'monitoring officer' to snoop on blogs, and hints have been dropped that they are hunting down a mole within their walls. There then follows a quote from yours truly which I won't bore you with here.

What seems to have upset the politburo over in Cecil Street is that, through the medium of blogs, people get to find out all sorts of things that the powers-that-be would rather keep to themselves. The council's newly-appointed blog snooper is quoted as moaning that 'Unlike the Press, blog sites are not accountable to the Press Complaints Commission'. Too flaming right! Could that possibly be because blogs are more a forum for gossip, rumour and opinion? Would anyone mistake the endless stream of drivel I pour out most days for a reputable news source that should be accountable to the PCC, Ofcom or some Director-General of the British Blogcasting Corporation? I think not.

Besides, as Blogger is hosted in the US, where freedom of speech is enshrined in the constitution, it'll be a very long time before they'll be allowing Thanet Council some kind of say in what gets written on these electronic pages. God bless Mom, apple pie and the American way! (And that's about the only time you'll ever hear me say that.)

As a footnote, I see the Tory councillor host of Thanet's 'Popular but beseiged™' weblog gets his two pennorth in by once again perpetuating the myth of 'defamatory and libellous comments by anonymous people'. C'mon Doc, p-l-ease! Isn't it about time you changed that particular record!

Click here to read full story in yourfannitinnit