Tuesday, September 21, 2010

DFL Goes BTL

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Society Editor Mary Hinge

Celebrity blogger Richard Eastcliff has shocked the isle by moving back to London! He made the surprise announcement in an exclusive interview with the Isle of Thanet Gazunder.

Speaking candidly for the first time about his five years in Ramsgate, which he dubbed 'The Millionaires' Playground', Mr Eastcliff said: 'It really hasn't worked out. When I came here it was on the promise that Thanet was on the up. But it's all gone horribly wrong.'

Mr Eastcliff, who enjoyed fame and fortune in the TV industry with successful shows such as My Dog's a Bitch! and Celebrity Nipples before his move to the area in 2006, added that Thanet was no place for a creative genius such as himself.

'There's no media work here, and what's worse is that people don't even understand the concept. I've done the odd media job in Thanet, but nobody wants to pay for it. I'd be better off flogging double glazing or taking bungs to nod through planning permission.'

Adjusting the string holding up his trousers and sipping from a can of Stella Artois, Mr Eastcliff continued: 'Not only that, but when you tell potential employers in London that you live in Thanet, they just don't want to know. The final straw was when I pitched an idea to a commissioning editor at Channel 4 last month and she said 'Oh dear, I see you live in Margate'. Needless to say I didn't get the job.'

Pausing only to fill out a Jobseeker's Allowance form, the 29 year old added: 'I've hardly had any work in the past two years. I've also developed some expensive habits, and now I'm facing a huge bill for five years' unpaid tax, so I've got to sell the old cliff top mansion. Hopefully I'll find work in the smoke.' He explained that by 'the smoke', he meant London, not Margate.

Taking a leisurely puff on his crack pipe, the former TV Times Personality of the Year concluded: 'It's not all been bad, though. I've made some good friends down here and I'd especially like to thank Cyril my accountant, who, actually, I haven't heard from recently, Dodgy Dave for the crystal meth, Tyson my Staffordshire bull terrier, and all the staff at Thorley Taverns for those times when I've had half a dozen over the eight and they've refused not to serve me.'

Mr Eastcliff is 29.

82 comments:

Bluenote said...

What can one say whilst still in shock. At least ECR has returned to pen another page but leaving the Eastcliff, does this also mean the end of Thanet's most popular blogspot? I sincerely hope not but, needs must I guess, so, Richard, all the very best in whatever you do.

Anonymous said...

Be prepared for a twist, Bluenote.

Coasted said...

omigod!

Peter Checksfield said...

I wish all the DFLs in Thanet would f*ck off back to London (erm, except me that is!).

Anonymous said...

Not the first goodbye, we shall await the comeback tour! In the meantime a cup of coffee I think.

Pisso said...

A sad day and testament to the predicament that Thanet finds itself in after umpteen years of Council incompetence. You don't find anybody moving back from Monaco.

Michael Child said...

Sic transit Gloria ECR? Again I get the funny feeling that I remember having had Déjà vu before.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone from Thanet ever move to Monaco, well apart from Grace Kelly that is for I seem to remember her at Clarendon. Benidorm is more the destination of the Ramsgate jet set!

Anonymous said...

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

A fan said...

Sad if true

ascu75 aka Don said...

AHHHHHHHHHHH A sad day for Zorro and the Mexicans but the BBC and the Film industry luvvies will no doubt welcome you back to theirs.

Anonymous said...

Anon 718, you are a wanker.

Anonymous said...

You will never be able to sell your mansion on the East Cliff. Who in their right mind will want to live there with the night flights, the bombed out looking Royal sands, the poluted harbour, nothing but pound or 99p shops, life expectancy 5 years less than the nation average. Turn it into a bail hostel.

Anonymous said...

9:54, are you Tim Garbutt?

Victor Meldrew said...

I don't believe it!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry people be happy as TIT is coming soon.

Thats a new Blog called Thanet In Tatters (TIT.

It will personally eviscerate the gutless and hopefully put some guts and backbones into the spineless!!!

Walter

Anonymous said...

Shame the media industry cannot keep yp with modern times, who needs to actually live in London to work? The media industry is shite anyway, full of wankers, self centred luvvies and people with their own heads rammed so far up their own arses they can see their own tonsils.

Lucy Mail said...

Can I come with you Dickie?
I know a fair few of the oddbods here will assume that I have no choice but to do so, of course.
Though having said that, without your blog I'd have very little contact with them, so I may stay after all.
Hey, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind!

Anonymous said...

Yawn

Anonymous said...

No need for explanation of your forward plans.

Just f-ck off.

Anonymous said...

What are the loonies going to attack when you go? They'll have to fall back on self-abuse.

Anonymous said...

Always better than falling forwards on to self abuse I find



Signed Lucymail/Bluenote

Anonymous said...

anon again!
Dear ECR!
I will miss you, if all is true. You manage to brighten a dreary place, and add humour to the doldrums. Splendidly take the piss out of our morbid TDC, but still remain the cheerful jolly chap you are.
Thank you for everything!

Anonymous said...

It just isn't easy making money in Thanet. It's piss easy in London.

Anonymous said...

Please don't go.

Anonymous said...

No guts!

Anonymous said...

Is this why?

http://hernebaymatters.com/hb-issues/manston-night-flights/341-nightflight-nightmare

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

11.42-Another nutter-poor demented soul.

Anonymous said...

The bigoted neanderthal Tory supporters of the likes of Moores, Wells, Cameron and Gregory will be relieved at the loss of an opposing voice. Their combined brain cell will be able to relax.

Anonymous said...

lol great read. :)

I recently got out of London after being mugged at knife point for the 3rd time, London is hell on earth compared to Thanet.

Anyway if true then seriously good luck.

Anonymous said...

See several commentators have failed to notice the subtle pro-Tory postings of ECR and think that local politicians of the right will be pleased to see him go.

How easily fooled some are!

Anonymous said...

Peter, I wish you would f&@k off and more dfl's came.

Did you know the gene pool improves by 14% as each dfl arrives in Thanet, as well as the number of tatoos halving, and total teeth doubling?

Peter Checksfield said...

You obviously don't actually know me anon 6:45, as I am a Londoner (or a DFL as you inbred locals like to call us).

Anonymous said...

8:58 that'll be why there are so many homeless in London then?

Anonymous said...

Green Blazer Chep says:

Perhaps if you had joined our lodge !! We are renowned as a happy lodge !!!! You would appreciate the humour always inherent in our minutes !!!!!!

For example we always refer to "Perambulate in contemplation" as "Permanganate in concentration" !!! (Oh riotous and no doubt due to our alumni brethren employed as Pfizer night cleaner brethren) !!!!!

There is a higher order (We call it a side order what are we like !!) called Mark Masons !

They tell us that we are just exclamation mark masons !!!!

LMFAO LOL

Can't think why you would want to leave Thanet.

And by the way I never aspired to work for TDC !!! It is just an interim job I have occupied for 26 years whilst considering my options !!!

Planning consents for sale !!!!

Anonymous said...

Bluenote said :

"I am ECR"

Anonymous said...

Lucymail said :

"I am ECR"

Anonymous said...

Sandy Beach said:

"I am ECR gotcha"

Anonymous said...

Green Blazer Chep says :

Someone at lodge asked me to report on ECR's achievements in Thanet.

mmmmmmmmmmm !!!!!

Anonymous said...

9:12 AM

You should be careful what you meddle with less someone from KT might decapitate ye!

On another topic, I don't believe anyone is ECR and, like Spartacus, he is but a figment of media imagination.

Anonymous said...

CUE "MY WAY" Sid Vicious version.....

Anonymous said...

Anon said: I am ECR

Chippy Tone said...

I'M ECR and now I'm going to tell myself to fuck off.

Anonymous said...

I am ECR and I like watching milfs: www.xhamster.com

Anonymous said...

Let's simply hope that, if ECR really is leaving Thanet, someone else starts up a vibrant, irreverent, challenging but also informative blog. If not we are left with turncoat Tory councillors who come out of the woodwork every so often to make a pompous, unfunny comment, self-trumpeting Tory councillors who are so far up themselves that they can talk to their own pancreases, and Liberal Democrat apologists who tilt in the breeze because of the huge chip they carry on their shoulder. Not much of a selection.

Bluenote said...

6:31 AM

By implication, since you only denounce Tories and Liberals, you must find Labour Councillors fulfill your irreverent, challenging criteria. Presumably they are full of wit and capable of literary gems as well.

Please, go and read some Labour blogs for utter boring, totally politically motivated drivel. You are talking about people (see Luke's blog) who can take a local election result for the parish council of inner Muckingouttown, as indicative of the national trend.

Only someone, like ECR, sufficiently detached from the political scene, can provide a true witty overview. Let us hope he has not really gone.

Peter Checksfield said...

Why don't some of you people complaining about the lack of decent blogs start your own? It's not that difficult you know (I run three of them myself).

Anonymous said...

Er, I think you've just disproved your point there Peter.

Anonymous said...

that bit toward the end of a concert past it act goes off stage

the encore wait is long the tension mounts

crash bang wallop

Boring

Just get on with it

Anonymous said...

4;45 PM

Please try harder with the grammer for your drift is hard to follow. Sure you are making a point but what heaven alone knows!

Anonymous said...

Bluenote, you can always be relied upon to sweep in and defend the honour of the blue corner. I hope you keep it up when they return to the mire they inhabited in 1997 (and before). What goes around comes around, as they say.

Bluenote said...

9:26 AM

You miss my point which was that any purely one dimensional political blogspot is almost inevitably condemned to boredom. The beauty of the ECR one is the diversity of opinions.

Yes there are those of us with a political slant, though not exclusively so, but there are also the humerous, the campaigners and even some nutters.

This is the 53rd comment on this issue yet look at the several Thanet political blogspots. They are often lucky to attract one.

Peter Checksfield said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"bungs to nod through planning permission" - surely not

Karim said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Dear sir, this is such appalling news, what. Ramsgate will be pourer for your absence. Thank you for all the wonderful times. And remember we're only 1 hr 16 mins on the fast train so come visit every once in a while. It's a wonderful place for a weekend getaway.

Anonymous said...

The last person I can think of who moved from Ramsgate to Monaco was Ian Josephs, who managed to flog the dearly departed Regency Hotel off cheaply before the developers came in, gutted it and presumably made a mint.

What a place that was. The stories of sex, drugs and attempted suicide that building could tell...

Anonymous said...

A job in double glazing in Thanet will reap rewards when the night flights start.
And since you won't be able to sell the mansion as it is blighted by aircraft noise, you will have to stay:)

Anonymous said...

Luke's blog? Who's Luke?

Anonymous said...

The ONLY good thing about your departure is that Chippy Tone, the mouth from Margate, has no-one to whine about now. That said, he still bangs on about past encounters and your failure to clamp down on posts criticising him, but he has nothing new to offer. Mind, that's true of all the subjects the moaning minnie tries to cover.

Bluenote said...

Oh, please, come now for you must be having a laugh. Everybody knows Luke and his blog. Just try putting 'Luke's Blog' in your Google search engine and then stand by for all the really exciting news on the Labour front. Even quotes from Diane Abbott like "blonde, blue eyed Finnish nurses will be no use for black patients." Well they will do just fine as far as I am concerned and Tiger didn't seem to mind them either!

Go on, look it up and have a treat. You will even get local bi-elections results from all round the country. Ripping stuff, what!

Marky Warky said...

?????????

B T L ???

Surely not, please dont go....
awwwwww

BLT maybe...

Anonymous said...

anon again!
I wondered how long it would take for the LibDem/Cons to cock things up! Not long, as I thought. Fast aproaching 5,000,000 unemployed (again), Pensioners done out of their pensions, record Bankrupting by firms. Reminiscent of the good old Thatcher days.
I pray that the poor misguided folk who voted them back in - will now see the light, and vote them OUT again at the next possible chance!

Anonymous said...

4:39 PM

Whatever has your misguided rant got to do with the far more serious issue of ECR returning to London? Please spare us this Labour rubbish at this time for it was your lot that got us into this sorry state.

At least ECR brought some light to life during the dark Brown years and, one would have hoped, would continue to do so during that 'taking the medicine phase' that always follows Labour regimes.

Anonymous said...

..and vote FOR who? The Labour party who got us into this mess? I suspect the Labour party hasn't quite realized how mistructed they are. 17 years in opposition last time they messed up the economy. Could be a lot, lot longer this time.

The real Rebecca said...

This is shocking....I know you have been writing about Thanet for all these years but I didn't think you actually lived in the disgusting slum.

I myself have to come into Thanet five times a week as my job requires me to be there but I live in a nice part of Kent and wouldn't dream of living in any of the places in Thanet. My moto is 'come in, make mischief and fuck off back home'.

I find it annoying enough to keep coming in here and mixing with tatooed oiks and chavs in scummerfield. If I wasn't able to take the odd break by churning out babies I would have hanged myself quite some time ago.

Anonymous said...

Labour may have got us into this mess following the Banking crisis but we now know what a disaster this Con-Dem is going to be for Thanet. ECR may have returned to London but that does not compensate for all the people on benifits that are going to stream into Thanet following the cuts in housing payments. Its not just pressure on housing that this will bring its all the demands on all the other social service and schools that this will bring. A well thought out policy, my foot ! Just like the £140 per week pensions payout just floated to detract from sll the bad news around.

MO said...

Hi there Richard I was given the impression by people you were bright hmmmm. The people who move to Ramsgate are aware there is no work. So they use their loaf and carry on travelling back and forth to London 5 days a week. To enable them to enjoy the pleasure of living here. What the heck were you expecting your comments gave no value. Proof in the pudding you have had to leave because you cannot hack it

Anonymous said...

Complete and utter horse manure peddled by the likes of Polly of Guardian fame and the Daily Mirror. You can rent just as cheaply in London surburbia as in Thanet and why should these scroungers live in Belgravia and Mayfair anyway?

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, open your legs again dear, another baby will ensure you don't have to come here sweetie.

Anonymous said...

It was and with me.

Anonymous said...

COME BACK AND HELP SAVE KENT FROM CORRUPTION PRETTY PLEASE

Anonymous said...

Possibly the top blog that I have read in my life!

Leah

Bluenote said...

Happy Christmas, Richard, where ever you are.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas! Let the new year will bring a lot of money

Bluenote said...

Happy Christmas to you Richard, where ever you are.

Anonymous said...

Why there are so many comments in this blog?

Anonymous said...

Such a charming and witty ' bye bye ' from ECR . (Such a shame Peter Checksfield had to sully it with his sour language)But then ehem...Margate , what else can one expect from that hallowed domain where the Angel Emin made her bed ? . ECR probably overdosed on the less- than- educated street grunts in Ramsgate liberally sprinkled with Phd's pronounced 'F ' . Well one consolation there certainly is , at least there is a form of identity which is cohesive in Thanet , and all credit to it I say , as it preserves the tribal linguistics of the region. Speaking of tribal I see that the natives have evolved from spears to holding round tinny objects overflowing with an amber nectar. That's the nature of simeon evolutionary traits. Can anyone tell me whether it's these tribal chaps and chapettes who leave the plethora (and increasing daily ) of pavement pate wrapped in plastic bags or is it their rather clever canine friends ? I muse on this and also curse when I tread in it .

Anonymous said...

My ramblings rather took me away from the point vis-a-vis ECR's departure from Thanet. I reckon the lad has given it his best shot. Just like me really. In my 11 years here nothing has changed. The chav fiefdoms are still in control. The House of Fraser has nothing on the House of Yeleroth or House of Nedgir or House of Nilem. Where's the flourishing airport with links to the outside world ? Where's the ferry to France and the sound of ringing tills in our cafes and restaurants accepting Euros ? Where's the flow of inward investment and new factories creating jobs ? The Ladybird has flown away now but has left nothing much except windmills and a high -speed train to London . At least one constant is the number of ale houses which keeps the benefit - claiming drug-taking ordure content You've made the right decision ECR !

Anonymous said...

http://vimeo.com/29286200