Dave? What Are You Doing Dave?

Sacre bleu! I 'ave only been in ze south of France for a week, and I find my dulcets all over Radio Kent.

I wouldn't mind, but to protect my anonymity they've made me sound like HAL the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey, in that scene where he's having his bits pulled out.

Anyway, what am I doing? I'm meant to be on my hols! Garcon - encore un gin and tonic, por favore!

It's All Gone A Bit Pearl Harbour

Yep, there's definitely a nip in the air, so bugger it, I'm off to the South of France.

I've booked a luxury cruise liner (P&O Ferries) to take me to my luxury villa in Cannes, where I'm going to luxuriate in luxury surroundings, eating luxury food and drinking luxury booze.

I suppose when I get back, the view from the old Cliff Top Mansion will have changed, now that this blessed fart farm is going ahead. They say it'll create 800 jobs, and won't cost the local taxpayer a penny.

If you ask me, they'd generate a whole lot more electricity if they built the blinkin' thing in Cecil Square.

PS: Just taken a squiz at a map of the Thanet Fart Farm. I had to snigger, it'll be those Dickensians whose views will be blighted! Proof yet again that the Millionaires' Playground is the place to be! When you're not in Cannes, that is.