Dumpton Residents Dumped On By Council

It's fair to say that our local planning department, headed up by senior TDC officer Brian 'Ee-ba-gum' White, achieves, er, mixed results. Admittedly they now appear to be doing the right thing by the Grade II listed Marina Restaurant on Ramsgate front, which was, um, 'accidentally' demolished by developers Auclair a year and a half ago. This week they've recommended compulsory purchase.

But over in Dumpton Park Drive there's a continuing stink over a lump of land which the Cecil Square duffers want to give themselves planning permission to build a four bedroom house on. The idea being that they'll get more for the land when they flog it off to developers. Trouble is, it doesn't appear to be their land. Upset neighbours have now applied to KCC for 'village green' protection status for the strip. The whole sorry saga has been well documented on Bertie Biggles' excellent Thanet Strife blog, and this Saturday there'll be a summer party on the plot from 2pm at which local MP Dr Steve Ladychap is expected to put in an appearance.

So, if cocked-up planning notices, ongoing eyesores and the pursuit of self-interest against the wishes of local residents is the kind of thing you'd like to mutter about as you sip your Earl Grey and nibble your cucumber sarnies, get along on Saturday and show the TDC planners how you feel!

Bloomin' Lovely!

As most readers know, I'm more in the habit of lobbing brickbats at our local council. But here's a bouquet! What a wonderful display the Uranians' horticultural department has put on this year. The municipal beds and roundabouts are positively radiant with germaniums, and other, er, flowers. As you can probably tell, I'm not much of a one for the garden myself.

What a shame, then, that next week it'll definitely be back to the brickbats if what I'm hearing on the jungle drums is to be believed!

Corporate B*ll*cks

Bev, my agent, has booked me in for one of those corporate jobs. I'm not normally one to prostitute my art, but the gas bill has just arrived.

On the one or two previous occasions I've presented corporate videos, I've always been struck by the appalling taste in art these large organisations possess. One company had an enormous statue of a naked Greek god proudly standing in front of its revolving doors, greeting all and sundry with the unavoidable sight of its rather over-exaggerated but nonetheless muscular buttocks. But the prize for the best example of arse gratia artis must go to a well-known utility company based in the Home Counties.

When this particular company moved into its shiny new glass palace, the then CEO decided that what it really needed to finish the whole thing off was a statue of a prancing stallion on the roundabout which stood between the east and the west wings. He owned several Ferraris, I seem to recall. However, the artist must have latched on to the testosterone fuelled nature of this commission, and endowed the statue with the heftiest set of equine testicles ever to grace a company forecourt. After a few weeks, and a myriad of complaints, the crestfallen artist was recalled and made to remove the offending spheres with an angle grinder.

The Deputy CEO told me that story, whilst we were waiting for the cameras to be set up. He was a much more amiable cove than the top man, and had therefore been chosen to be the face of the company. His office was on the opposite side of the building to the CEO's. 'He gets to look at the horse's head, and I get to stare at the arse all day,' I remember him saying. 'Shows which way my career's going.' Sure enough, he was history within a year.

East Side Story

It goes without saying that I'm usually a man of utmost discretion, but I can't keep my von Trapp shut about this any longer.

I've been contacted by a television company who want to make Ramsgate! - The Musical. I kid you not. Here's what their representative said:

I’ve been reading your blogs and they’re very informative and funny (natch). I’d love to talk to ‘real people’ in regards to Ramsgate and the lack of or may be not community spirit, what they think Ramsgate is missing and how successful do they think a musical project such as ours would work bringing different sides of the community together.

I really need to speak to key people that have opposing opinions as well. Youth Leaders, prominent business men busy bodies etc. We have visited the Newington Area and were particularly interested in working with the residents there as well as the wider area of Ramsgate.

Can you sing Richard and would you be interested in taking part in this project? You could use your real name and there would be no need to mention Richard Eastcliffe at all.

Hmmm. Well, obviously I can sing. I wouldn't have been voted TV Times Entertainer of the Year (1989) if I couldn't. I'd better have a word with Bev, my agent.

Ramsgate! - The Musical (artist's impression)

Paint The Whole Pier With A (Rather Expensive) Rainbow

One of my moles in the tawdry north of the Ile informs me that the recent artistic paint job on Margate pier cost £56,000. Of course this figure would, in all likelihood, have included the one blink-and-you'd-miss-it evening that a light and sound show was put on for the great and good, the only people who were informed that it was happening. So, terrific value for money I'd say!

Meanwhile the director of Margate's yet-to-fruitate Turner Contemporary, Victoria Pomery, was spotted at last month's Venice Biennale (arts knees-up to you and me) giving a speech as a guest of the British Council and Engage, the, um, National Association for Gallery Education. If you recall, there was a lot of fuss regarding the attendance of Our Lady of the Soiled Bedsheet as the British representative at the fart-fest, but apparently Ms Pomery bravely flew to Venice (all expenses paid one presumes) and upheld Margate's honour by explaining all the benefits the Turnip has brought to the area by importing European artists to tart up the paintwork, and getting the crayons out for the kiddies.

Don't get me wrong. I'm an art lover myself. Indeed several limited edition Jack Vettrianos grace the walls of the old cliff top mansion here in the Millionaires' Playground. But you have to wonder whether the money that's being spent is benefitting the ordinary bloke in a track suit tugging a pit bull on Margate High Street, don't you?

Open And Shut Case

Here's a bit of an admission. I actually enjoyed a night out in Margate yesterday!

On the way to meet my chums for a gargle or two (yes, it's true, I do have friends on the north of the Ile), I noticed that something called The Flower Lab is due to open in what the Uranians insist on calling the 'creative quarter':

Nothing too creative about experimenting on poor, defenceless nasturtiums, but good luck to them anyway. Then I noticed one of the creative flagships of the creative quarter has creatively closed:

This is the place that those nice people at GOSE (Government of the South East) spent a substantial amount of money (or European Objective 2 Funding as they prefer to call it) on not so long ago. Now it's up for sale for a cool £415,000.

GOSE, you'll recall, is also the body that recently tipped the nod to 1300 new houses at Westworld Cross. I don't recall voting for them, but it's nevertheless reassuring to know that all the tax I give them is being put to such, um, profitable use.

Outfitters Gallery on the GOSE website
Outfitters Gallery on the Lovetts website
And if you fancy running an Italian restaurant, Soprano in Cliftonville is up for sale too!