When Dreamland Was The Turner

Moving on from all the Manston mullarkey, I'm indebted to one of my lovely readers for flagging up this newsreel from the 1960s. It shows the then recently installed 'Spectrum Psychedelic Fun Palace' at Dreamland, complete with porn-style wah-wah 'with it' music, and bewildered posh bloke voicing the commentary.

Nowadays, of course, it's the kind of thing you're more likely to find in the Turner Contemporary. Indeed, the fun palace was the brainchild of an artist, Keith Albarn, none other than the pater of Blur Brit-Popper Damon Albarn.

The newsreel's part of British Pathé's current efforts to put all their footage online, and there are more than enough old films of Margate, Broadstairs and Ramsgate on their website to while away a wet Thursday in Thanet.

Of course, if you want to go one step further and recreate the full 60s experience, you could always roll yourself a massive doobie and go for a wander around the Turner Contemporary!

Wish You Were Here Too?

Reader Kevin, who went on a tour of Margate's unfinished Turner Contemporary yesterday, writes:

I am completely disinterested in this project but I wondered if you would like my immediate impressions...

I arrived five minutes before the hour, brandishing the letter saying I’d been invited on the tour. The person I invited along and I were pleasantly shepherded in to Droit House to receive our fluorescent jacket and hard hat.

Assembling at the front entrance to the site, we paused as the KCC guy and the Turner lady welcomed us to the tour and mentioned facts, figures, safety concerns (it’s a building site, so try not to trip) and the ban on the use of cameras on the (spurious) reason of copyright issues.

Entering the site, we were then lead on a predetermined route through the concrete walls/hanging wires/scaffolding that is the Turner at the moment.

I don’t know how much of it, if any, you have seen but it is a lot bigger on the inside than can be seen on the outside. Tardis came to mind.

Our group of 25 were then led on a tour of the future reception area, cafe, shop, gallery, and conference space on the ground floor, and large gallery spaces and education space on the first.

Big windows. No, seriously big windows. They have put in big floor to ceiling windows in every space, and the roof is 60 ft in places, but to get valuable works of art down to a seaside setting they have an atmosphere controlled/we can control the natural light area, which means that as well as contemporary art works there will be ‘proper pictures' on the walls (sorry, I asked the question, but I prefer ‘proper pictures') including, from the opening, a ‘Turner’ on loan from the Tate.

Our group were invited to ask questions and they involved what type of floor in the gallery, the lift (it will be able to hold 100 people, apparently) and the type of art on display.

After 45 minutes we returned our safety gear and, passing the television cameras, left to make our own minds up.

Yes, obviously it’s still a building site.

It is a lot bigger inside than you would think.

It will have great views, though they were already there.

The people involved really care.

I asked Turner lady if she could give us a one sentence reply to pass on to people who moan about the ‘eyesore’ on Margate harbour. She said things about ‘Dynamic’ ‘Forward Looking’ etc.

I would suggest they just say ‘Give it a chance'.

Wish You Were Here?

Regular contributor Millicent has sent me this charming postcard from Das Kunstbunker, aka the Turner Contemporary. She writes: 'It was given out free at an event I attended. According to the back, KCC, TDC and the Arts Council have all paid for this wonderful view of the Turner Contemporary under construction in 2010. Hardly the most awe-inspiring topic is it?'

Oh well, just wait until it's finished Millicent. Although that could be a big ask if the ConDem coalition pushes through its threatened 25% cuts in arts grants. Who knows, it could suffer the same fate as some of the schools round here. If that were the case, the lucky locals who were offered sneak peeks today could be some of its only visitors!

Still, the Turner could always go begging. Which, in fact, it has. All you have to do is pop along to the Just Giving website and pledge your sovs. Mind you, most Thanetians wouldn't stretch to 50p for the meter to keep their gran's life support machine going, so good luck to them with that.

And talking of Thanetians, I hear that many talented and well qualified DFLs have been rejected without even an interview for the slew of jobs that recently went begging at the Turner, purely for the crime of putting a Thanet postcode on their CV!

Toilet Humour

Reader Mick writes:

Dear Richard,

As an avid reader of your snippets of gossip from Ramsgate and the Island's high society I have heard that you are seeking objects for exhibition in your latest philanthropic enterprise, the Anthea Turner Contemporary.

May I suggest the attached which has the advantage of already being on the Island and therefore will involve no great transportation costs in moving it to the Turner bunker. Entitled 'You can never be taken short' the exhibit brings together a pure white symmetry with a simple rustic appeal with nature and a crafted sculpture in virgin concrete, which is a delight to behold.

The creator of this brillant work is unknown, but could be Tracey Enim or the famed Belgian Oneloo Haartsdunteck. The work is valued at over £1,000,000 by some of the Isle's leading art connoisseurs. However I'm making the photo available at no cost for exhibition in the gallery adjacent to the loos in the new centre. It will undoubtedly be the centre of attention.

Kind regards, Mick

Well Mick, I'll certainly give it pride of place. It'll make a, er, convenient companion for my Rodin 'Thinker'...

And Duchamp 'Fountain'!

Turner Staffing Costs Up 80%

Oops! Wrong Turner there. Er, where was I? Oh yes. Kent County Council have approved a plan to increase annual staffing costs at Margate's Turner Contemporary by a whopping 80%! The proposal, drawn up by TC director Victoria Pomery, got the rubber stamp a few weeks ago, although it doesn't appear to have been widely reported.

Of course, the increase (from £427,000 a year to £759,000) takes into account the fact that more staff will be needed once the thing opens next year. In fact Vicky has drawn up an entire new staffing structure which, whilst it 'isn't budget driven, must be affordable'. Well that's nice to know, seeing as it's our money they're spending. The new structure means that everyone who currently works there, including La Pomery, will have their jobs put up for grabs. What's the betting that Thanet's great unwashed don't get a look-in?

Meanwhile the TC types have just started offering founder memberships 'with special access to exhibitions and events' at a cool £5K a pop. Needless to say, Her Eminence has membership card 001. Although the Turner website doesn't specify whether she actually coughed up the 5,000 smackers for it!

And meanwhile meanwhile, the Margate Renewal Partnership has been spamming the local medja today urging everyone to vote for Margate in that great, er, American company Cadbury's Great British Beach competition. So in tune are Kraftbury's with the British seaside that they've spelled 'Bournemouth' 'Bournmouth'.

Anyhow, if you feel like it do pop over to the Bourneville Blighters' website (complete with banner tugging teeny-tiny plane) and cast your vote and/or aspersions!

Update: Clearly MRP's tactic of stuffing the ballot box is working. I've just been over there to vote (for 'Bournmouth' as Ramsgate wasn't on the list) and out of 1,315 votes so far cast, Margate is miles ahead with a whopping 28%. Tresco in the Scilly Isles is trailing in second with 13%. Did I hear anyone shout 'Fix!'?

Update update: Margate came fourth in the end, behind Rhossili Bay, Tresco and Blackpool. Click here for more.

Click here to download new Turner staffing costs on KCC website
Click here to become a founder member on TC website

Turner Contemporary - An Apology

Hahahahahaha... ha... yes, er, well it was good to get that off our chests yesterday. However, now that we have I'd like to apologise to Turner Contemporary and the good people of Margate (but not the bad ones).

As my photo shows, despite rumours to the contrary Margate is still (70%) open and much of this is due to the 'Turner effect'. Roger Gale pointed out recently that now is the time to pile in, fill your boots and buy up every dilapidated edifice within a quarter mile radius of the new gallery. Roger has long had confidence that Margate's fortunes were on the turn, which is why, over the past 27 years as the town's incumbent MP, he's invested heavily in property in London and France.

Finally I'd like to add that my new found love for the Arsonists' Playground and its £20m gallery has nothing to do with the fact that I received a letter from the Turner this morning confirming that they will be funding my new summer exhibition Bury My Head In The Sand. This conceptual piece will see me entombed from the neck up on Margate Sands for 60 days over the summer, something for which I've had considerable backing and support from the people of the town.

myturnercentrehoarding.com

Right, well it looks like I've got enough of these to fill up an entire day now. So here goes. Just rename the blog... tip tap tippety tip... da-da (Geddit!!!???!!!)

Turner Centre - Latest Pics

If, like me, you don't get to Margate much these days, you, like me, will be surprised how quickly they're getting on with the Anthea Turner Centre! One of my few remaining chums north of Winterstoke Crescent has just sent me these photos he took over the weekend:





Actually, that's given me an idea. Last week I let you scrawl all over the Pleasurama hoarding. How about this week we scrawl all over the Turner hoarding? Given the revelation that a 'very senior' Thanet Council apparatchik believes anyone who thinks the Turnip's a bad idea is an 'arsehole' (his words not mine), how about this to redress the balance:

KCC Win £6m Back Over Turner Cock-Up

Good news for supporters of Margate's Kunstbunker which is currently rising up on the Rendezvous site. Kent County Council have won £6m back from the architects of Turner Center Mark I, which was going to be built in the North Sea as an extension to the harbour arm (or pier as it used to be called until about a year ago).

According to the magazine New Civil Engineer, Norwegian architects Snohetta, cost consultant Davis Langdon and consultant Ramboll have agreed to pay the council the £6m inclusive of interest and costs it spent on the project that was abandoned in February 2006.

Now all KCC have to do is get our £50m back from Iceland! And more good Margate-related news the delightful Fiona Sherriff, proprietor of the Harbour Arm/Pier thingy, has emailed me to say she is putting on those lovely old folkers Fairport Convention at the Theatre Royal next January. They were a big draw when they played at Margate's Westcoast Bar in May, and Fiona says she is also working on getting a 'special act' to support them. The gig is on 30 January, and tickets are available from the box office on 0845 130 1786. Sxx.

East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's EotW, available in today's Isle of Thanet Gazunder (price 60p at all good newsagents but why cough up when you can see it for free here on the big blog?)

Given that Radio 4's Any Questions are in the smoke (Margate) tonight, somebody might just want to ask panel member John Kampfner, who heads up the Turner trustees, quite what a dodgy art gallery opening in 2011 is going to do for the fortunes of a town which at this rate will be completely boarded up by Christmas.

Meanwhile I see Thanet Council's deputy chief exec is scampering off to pastures new - to become head honcho at Ashford Council to be precise. Where he lives. Nice one. In a glowing testimonial, council bleeder Sandy Ezekiel paid tribute to Bunnett, drooling that he had achieved 'so much for Thanet during his time here, particularly in his efforts to help regenerate the district'. Clearly Our Sandy's rose-tinted specs haven't been boarded up yet then!

Turnip Growing

Having been put in charge of thumb twiddling this week (with special responsibility for arse scratching), I thought I'd don my CelebProtect™ Kevlar stab vest and point my immensely powerful motorcycle and commensurately miniscule dangly bits in the direction of the Smoke (Margate) yesterday evening.

The Anthea Turner Centre, due to open in 2010 or 2011 depending on which statement by that ruddy faced man from KCC you believe, is already beginning to dominate the skyline, serving as a beacon of hope for Bentley loving architects, builders, developers of luxury apartments and arts consultants for miles around. That said, it really is quite impressive. Although the inhabitants of the 5 star Fort Road Hotel and Arcadian gated development opposite look set to be robbed of their sea views. And future visitors might well be put out by the trundlings of Margate's Thunderbirds-style lifeboat which will still have to go past the front of the gallery to launch.

There's only hoarding to see from the pointlessly de-dualled Fart Hill, but if you sneak round the front, as I did, you get a much better view:


Cleary the place is going to be well-appointed for khazis with all this pipework they're putting in:

Let's hope the millions of visitors they predict spend more than just a penny!

Councillor In Need Of A Counsellor?

Like me, you must have wondered why Margate's putative arts emporium changed its name from the Turner Centre to 'Turner Contemporary' a while back. Go on, of course you did!

Well if you Google-ise Turner Centre the top spot is held by The Turner Centre... for Counselling and Psychotherapy! According to their website, the Colchester centre 'occupies a grade II listed building and is beautifully furnished to a high standard'. Among the therapeutic services they offer are counselling for anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. I presume Margate's Turnip people decided on the name change to avoid any confusion, given that the sponds wasted on the gallery had already caused 'anxiety, depression and panic attacks' among the general, taxpaying public of Thanet.

The Turner Centre (Colchester) also offers help for 'anger and rage'. It strikes me that, given our Sandy's recent, er, carpeting by the Standards Comittee for his outburst at the Edinburgh Woollen Mills, and his previous for calling the Mayor of Margate a 'f*cking tosser', he might well be advised to check himself in for a session or two!

Click here to go to Turner Centre website

Art Attack

No, that really is a brand of kitchen roll. Click here if you don't believe me.

Any old hoo, that's not the point. My spies over in mARgaTe™ report some dischord in the rarified world of arts regen. Apparently, just like Mr Brawny there, the Turnip is sucking up all the good funding juices, leaving very little behind for the minnows. I've already reported the trouble at t'IOTA gallery, who are rumoured to be exiting the new super-duperised harbour arm due to a contretemps with the developer and a grant drought. Now I hear that the Substation space off the Lower High Street is finding it difficult to come by the folding. Not only that, but they were also apparently approached by the Turnip to use their space for three months - gratis! What a diabolical liberty!

No wonder the Margate wags have renamed the Turnip's latest exhibition Superabundant Funding!

Click here to go to Superabundant exhibition on Turnip website
Click here to read review of Superabundant on Independent website