Thanet Council Gets New Chief Exec

I must say it's been a long time coming, but at last those duffers at Thanet Council have seen the light and put me in charge. Well, according to 'vertical search engine' ZoomInfo, that is. Which will probably come as a surprise to the incumbent, Dr Sue McGonigal.

It just goes to show that t'internet ain't perfect yet. For example, Google on my smart phone seems to think that Thanet is synonymous with Margate...

And as for the National Lottery, it thinks Ramsgate is outside the UK...

Which sort of drives a lorry through Farage's chances round here!

Meanwhile, I can only get French TV on Freeview. Call me old-fashioned, but a Gallic discussion about piles doesn't, er, sit too well at lunchtime when you're trying to munch your way through the old buffalo mozarella and sun dried tomato bruschetta!

'Dark Forces' At Work In Thanet

Cripes! All that Manston mullarkey has somewhat distracted me from the comings and goings at Thanet Duffer Central this week!

Our esteemed leader, Coiffeured Clive, has gone after posting the longest resignation letter in the history of resignation letters. So in comes Irish Johnston, the Margate Mauler who shoots prisoners first, then takes them without asking questions. Er, sorry, not sure where I was going with that. 

The fallout has seen the departure of Poole the Fool from the TDC cabinet (he'll be the chap who patronised you if you were a protester at any of the Pleasurama eyesore meetings), and Michelle Fenner, her of 'Whoops! We've handed £1.5m to the live animal exporters!' fame.

That's not including the ongoing kerfuffle over the council's Chief Executive Sue McGonigal allegedly being involved in some scandal over planning, but I'll leave that aside for now. 

Any-old-how, a missive has plopped into the ECR mailbox purporting to emanate from Ms Fenner herself. When it comes to local politics, you have to realise I'm a self-confessed bear of very little brain. So I'll just reprint Fenner's farewell in full - unexpurgated and unedited - and let you make of it what you will. My only comment being that, in casting the Swivel-Eyed Loons (©2013 - D Cameron) as 'The Forces of Darkness', she may be confusing OBE-Wodge Kenobi with Darth Vader!

I read in the press some comments referring to dark forces in relation to my work and Cllr. Poole’s work in Clive Hart’s Cabinet.

Our actions as Cabinet members were not the result of dark forces in relation to 

• the Live animal export issue and our decision to impose a temporary ban to protect the staff at the port
• The motion I tabled against the bedroom tax and its disastrous effects on Thanet residents 
• The motion on equal marriage, in line with
• The renewed Equalities policy promoting fairness in the Council and in the community at large
• The procurement Strategy supportive of local suppliers
• At the General Purposes Committee we acted in support of the Chief Executive’s rights against complaints 

We did this because we used factual evidence and we were guided by our sense of social justice and our integrity

I wish for all this good work to continue because the alternative is unthinkable.

Indeed there are dark forces at work

They reside with the people who use this platform to undermine the democratic process and they reside with UKIP

With this council, we have a forum to speak out as councillors and also with the 2 parliamentary candidates for MEP and the UK Parliament.

I urge my colleagues on the other side and my friends and comrades on this side to turn their fire on and speak out against the policies that would hurt badly the residents of Thanet whom we all represent against the UKIP pledges to get rid of employment laws which protect staff, which provide paid annual leave and maternity leave, and to replace them with policies based on prejudice, ignorance and discrimination.

UKIP and their acolytes from the National Front and their ideology ARE THE DARK FORCES. And we must all stand against them, not try and befriend them.

I will certainly continue to do so.

Cllr. Johnston decided not to include me in her Cabinet as she thought that I would not be able to provide the 24/7 availability that she thinks is required, so I will continue my work to promote equality and social justice in my own way.

This is why I am minded to vote in favour of Cllr. Johnston as Leader of Thanet District Council.

Separated At Birth?

Reader Samantha writes:

Has anyone else noticed the striking similarity between Iris Johnston, the new leader of Thanet Council, and Deirdre Barlow, the long-standing character in Coronation Street? Are they by any chance related?

Well, thanks for that Samantha. I guess with the council looking increasingly like a bad hair day at the Rovers Return, the similarity may be more than superficial!

The Fat Lady Sings On The Pleasurama Eyesore

Update: Following the success of this video, which has now gone viral with more than a dozen hits worldwide, it's been suggested that we commission an operatic number for the upcoming FFS Ramsgate Music Festival, being organised by the Friends of Ramsgate Seafront.

If any of you budding lyricists out there feel like making up some words to the tune of 'Barcelona' by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Cabbale (which neatly fits with 'Pleasurama'), please do.

Appropriately enough, I am currently making arrangements for the Montserrat Cabbale part to be played by a morbidly obese, heavily tattooed woman in a tracksuit who looks like she can bang six inch nails in with her forehead. In the original song, that part is in Spanish, so it would only be appropriate for the new version to be in fluent Fannit.

Well, whaddya waiting for?!!?!

Floaters

Eurgh! Reader Ben has sent me this photo he took today of our lovely Royal Harbour, and writes:

I couldn't help noticing that the Ramsgate inner harbour was filthy today. There was a large oily slick of floating rubbish - not far from the disused King George IV Maritime Heritage Pontoons. This is hardly a good advert for Ramsgate's tourist industry. TDC used to employ a chap who would row out and scoop it up, I guess this is no longer the case.

Indeed. And with a Eurofunded project under way to tart the harbour up, you'd think they'd be taking a bit more care of it! Oh, but then they'd probably want more Eurofunding to do that.

Speaking of poop decks, word has reached the old ECR shell-likes that our former dredger, fittingly enough called Ramsgate, has turned up in Norway after being flogged off by The Duffers for £65,000 a few years ago. That was apparently part of a plan by Cllr Latchford (Who he? - Ed.) to bring in new, super-duper dredging arrangements. Ramsgate has been refurbed and is still apparently doing sterling work for the Norgies, so it does make you wonder whether TDC could have done the same and saved a few bob on the hundreds of thousands they've subsequently spent on getting contractors to do the job.

Hang on a mo. I think I may have spotted some of my council tax floating in that slick pic!

Psychic Dick

Well, I can't delay blowing my own trumpet and showing off my crystal balls any longer.

Yep, you read it here first. On the 18th of November last year to be precise. Our beloved council's' legal beagle Harvey Patterson is off to pastures new.

The story was splashed all over the front of Friday's Isle of Thanet Gazunder. Harvey's departure is part of a shake-up that will see The Duffers' Chief Exec, Dr Sue McGonigal, relinquish some of her power, but not any of her £100K+ per year salary. As I wrote at the time: '(Harvey's departure) could mark the start of an admin shake-up at Duffer Central'. We've yet to be told whether Harve'll be collecting any dosh as he passes 'Go'.

You know, it's hard being so right all the time. But I do it all for you, my dear readers!

Click here to read my exclusive scoop from last November.
Click here to read The Gazunder's story, which came out two months later.

Spectacular End For Ostend Spirit

Holy shipwrecks! If you've ever wondered what it would be like to stand on a beach with a ruddy great cross channel ferry steaming towards you at full tilt, then this is the video for you!

The ferry in question is none other than our own Ostend Spirit, which, after we forked out £700,000 in 2010 to dredge the Port of Ramsgate to accommodate it, spent a grand total of, er, not very long operating on behalf of the now defunct TransEuropa Ferries between here and Oostende. The very same Ostend Spirit, in fact, that was occupied by its Slovenian crew in Tilbury for weeks while they demanded unpaid wages after TransEuropa sank without trace, taking £3.4m of our council tax with it.

The very, very same Ostend Spirit that could have been seized in our port and sold to recoup some of our decimated dosh, had not Our Harvey been out to lunch when the harbour master rang to tell him it was about to set sail and request permission to nab it.

Well, it's junk now, having been sold to a breakers yard in Turkey for scrap, which is where the video comes from.

Meanwhile TDC's spin doctors have been rotating at 20,000rpm to bring you the news that Ramsgate has been granted £161K of eurofunding 'to build on the success of this increasingly busy port'. Well, that's what it says in the Maritime Journal, and who am I to disagree?!!

What Do You Think Of It So Far?

Here in Bournemouth, everything is lovely. Not a piece of litter or a barker's nest to be seen. However, my spies back there in the tip of Kent are reporting a different story!

It's been a month since Thanet Duffer Central introduced their new rubbish regime, and things don't appear to be getting any better. Reader John writes:

I live in a back street mews where we have the large, wheeled, communal, dumpster-type bins for general rubbish, food waste and recycling. Until recently they had not been emptied since October. There were maggots in the food waste bin, which stank to high heaven. TDC did come and empty them after I phoned them, but when I spoke to one of their officials on the general topic of the new recycling system, and the possibility that not everyone was putting the correct rubbish in the correct communal bins, he said that if they discovered any rubbish in the wrong bins they would fine every property in the street. Unbelievable.

Not only that, but the seagull-proof sacks are just being thrown around by the bin men without any due care and attention, the result being that household waste is littering the entire street.

Well John, it seems from what you say that the island is reverting back to the bad old days of 2007 - where my photo's from in fact. Even the Isle of Thanet Gazunder has latched onto the rubbish state of affairs, reporting that hideous great rats have been spotted roaming the streets of Cliftonville (click here for the full story).

I dunno, it seems that for every step TDC take forward, they take eleven steps back! So, in the spirit of Back To The Future, here's a little reminder of a fone jacking I performed on them half a decade ago, during their 'Drop It And Cop It' campaign. Enjoy!

Have A Go On My Poll

Cripes! With our beloved council booting out a critical report by its own Standards Committee last night, resulting in the mass resignation of the committee's independent, public members, and with every meeting now seemingly the subject of squabbles over whether or not cameras should be allowed in, it feels like political business over at Thanet Duffer Central is rapidly descending into chaos.

Of course, TDC doesn't have a lardy, crack-crazed alcoholic for a leader, like they do in Toronto. But nonetheless, we have still managed to carve out our own little corner of political notoriety here in the tip of Kent!

Readers with long memories will recall that it was ever thus. In the eight years I've been writing this drivel, I can barely recollect a day when I said 'Hurrah for TDC!'. That goes for both the reds and the blues.

True, there are some intelligent, dedicated and hard-working councillors around, albeit thin on the ground. And I'm sure that somewhere in the bowels of the administrative machine there are people beavering away, and trying to do their best. It must be extremely frustrating for them to have to deal with the numpties in their midst, but let's hope that sense prevails, and that we all live long enough to see TDC transformed into a modern, transparent, fit-for-purpose organisation that does what it's supposed to do - serve the voters who pay for it.

There, I've had my two pennorth! Now you can have yours by voting in my 7 day poll in the sidebar on the right!

Ferry Interesting

My spies on the continent with the twiddly moustaches and little grey cells report that the second TransEuropa rustbucket that was holed up in Oostende, the Larkspur, has now been sold for €400,000.

This follows the sale of TEF's other tub, Gardenia, for €750,000 in September.

Of course, Thanet Duffer Council, which allowed TEF to rack up £3.4m in the secret Ferrygate deal, will see none of this as they never put their name on the list.

I dunno. Next time I have to pay my council tax, I think I might just get the money out in cash, pop it in a black sack, and bury it in a landfill somewhere. That way I'd be cutting out the middleman!!

Before They Were Famous

I'm indebted to one of my eagle-eyed readers for this.

A long time ago in the year 2000, in the beautiful Buckinghamshire hills, there was a council. And this council was called Chiltern District Council. Now, the good councillors of CDC wanted to save some money, so they decided to create a trust and hive off their three leisure centres, which meant they could avoid paying business rates. They called their not-for-profit trust the 'Chiltern Leisure Trust', and off it sailed, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Well, not quite.

Four years later, the trust had run up almost £1.2m in debt. More than half of that was owed to the council itself. So the poor councillors were left with no other option than to write the money off. They were very sad, as the amount represented roughly 10% of their council's annual income.

Does that story sound familiar? A little like writing off the £3.4m that Thanet Council idiotically allowed the decrepit TransEuropa Ferries to run up before it went bust?

Well it may not surprise you to learn, then, that one of the directors of Chiltern Leisure Trust was none other than Thanet Council's very own Corporate and Regulatory Services Manager Harvey Patterson, star of my previous post. Not only that, but HP was also Head of Legal Services for CDC during the same period.

So, now you know what Harvey was doing before he was famous!

Click here to read the full story of the Chiltern Leisure Trust debacle on the Guardian website.

Happy Bunny?

Word has reached the perfectly formed Eastcliff lugholes that Thanet Council's Corporate and Regulatory Services Manager Harvey Patterson may be heading for pastures new.

If the rumour is true, and I have to emphasise that I'm only running it up the old flagpole, it could mark the start of an admin shake-up at Duffer Central. Mr P has been the legal mandarin in the eye of many a recent Thanet storm, including the loss of £3.4m in the secret Ferrygate deal, the ongoing Pleasurama eyesore, and the recent row over the Royal Victoria Pavilion.

Of course, the head honcho in all these dubious doings has been Chief Exec Dr Sue McGonigal, and in my ever-so-humble opinion it should be her who's throwing in the towel. But then who am I to explain the Machiavellian machinations of the Margate machinery?

If the rumour proves true, I wonder if, in time-honoured Cecil Square tradition, Mr P will be offered a huge wodge for walking away? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile I see that the four independent members of our beloved council's Standards Committee, who are all members of the public rather than politicians or apparatchiks, have today reported that 'there is a local suspicion of secrecy, corruption and distance between the Council as it is perceived in the offices in Cecil Square, the reality of people’s lives and the needs of the district'.

They can say that again!

In fact, I think I'll say it again! 'There is a local suspicion of secrecy, corruption and distance between the Council as it is perceived in the offices in Cecil Square, the reality of people’s lives and the needs of the district.'

You can read their tut-tuttings in full by clicking here.

Update: After a, er, lively meeting of Thanet Council on Thursday, the Standards Committee report was rejected by our arse-covering councillors, following which the four independent members of the committee resigned en masse. Nuf said.

Update Feb 2014: My scoop about Harvey Patterson's departure finally makes it to The Isle of Thanet Gazunder. Quite why they get paid to print 'news' that I've already published two months earlier is beyond me. Kuh!

Councillor's Pants On Fire?

Us millionaires are accustomed to things burning down on our lovely front. So it's no surprise that the current political conflagration over whether Ramsgate's listed Royal Victoria Pavilion should be a Wetherspoons or community-space-cum-market appears to be shedding more heat than light.

But from the emails I've seen bouncing back and forth this weekend, one thing does seem clear. Yet again Thanet Council, and one councillor in particular, have proved themselves either incompetent, past their sell-by date, or they really do believe that us simple Fannit folk are easily hoodwinked by smoke and mirrors.

Step forward Labour Deputy Leader Alan Poole. We've all seen Cllr Poole sniggering at the great unwashed at public meetings, and treating the people who vote for him and pay his expenses like chumps. He's been instrumental in fending off the justifiably gigantic public concern over the Pleasurama eyesore, and at times has seemed like Swiss Tony and his mysterious backers' only ally.

Now he's doing it again with the Pavilion.

The phrase he uses in an email he composed yesterday, from Queensland in Australia (where he is presumably fiddling on his iPad while Ramsgate burns), is particularly redolent of the, er, old way of doing things here on our septic isle. It includes the phrase: 'Wetherspoons... are the only game in town.' This, you will recall, is exactly the approach that TDC were severely reprimanded for by the District Auditor way back in 2002, when they fell for the old Whitbread trick vis-a-vis the Pleasurama site. You can read my report of the auditor's report here.

There's more.

Last month TDC issued this press release, stating: 'In June 2013, Cabinet members... agreed to extend the term of the lease of the building in order to generate the level of investment needed to get the building back into use. Cabinet agreed to open up the marketing of the site in order to offer an extended lease of over 100 years to a new potential leaseholder, with the council retaining the freehold of the property.'

Trouble is, there's been no 'marketing of the site'. There's diddly squat on CBRE's website (they're the people whose sign has been on the building for the best part of five years). Rank, who currently own the lease and whose gift it's therefore in, appear to have gone straight back to Wetherspoons with the 100 year promise, without passing 'go'. Yet Cllr Poole asserts in his email: 'We did advertise and Rank have advertised the vacancy but there were no takers with any money.'

There's even more.

It transpired on Friday, following a conversation between an interested party and Rank's Property Director Tony Robinson, that Rank offered to hand the lease back to TDC 'some time ago', thus releasing them (Rank) from any risk associated with assigning the lease to a third party. So TDC could have had full control of the building, and could have therefore held a public consultation over its future.

What makes this whole can of worms smell worse than a bad day in Margate Harbour is that there is now, it would seem, a viable alternative to Wetherspoons, but Poole and his cronies are spending our money on the last chance saloon without so much as a 'by your leave', or even troubling us with the facts.

If JDW get their 100 year lease, and the biggest pub in Britain turns out to be a non-starter or dead loss, we'll all be ashes long before anything can be done to reverse the decision. Talk about a bonfire of the insanities!!!

A Fine Way To Welcome Visitors

One of my foreign spies has emailed me in disgust at the way he's been treated recently by Thanet's parking Nazis attendants.

Arriving here in lovely Ramsgate on Saturday, our friend from across the water checked into the Travelodge on the harbour and parked in the Leopold Street multi-storey. Which, as we know, is free on Saturdays, so no need for a ticket. My correspondent continues:

We had a great time and spent a lot of money in the local pubs and a restaurant. After having a breakfast in the hotel we left at 08.30 in the morning only to find a fine attached to the windscreen. The attendant wrote the fine at 7.30AM. So Leopold Street is a jackpot for TDC, nobody in the hotel will get up early in the morning to put money in the machine. The proof was the many fines posted on the windscreens, many probably Travelodge guests.

The problem is that if you put moeny in the parking machine on the Saturday, you get a ticket which says you paid for the Saturday, which is free.

He goes on to say that the next time he fancies a sojourn across the Channel, he'll be staying in Deal or Dover, or any of the other locations where you can park for free on a Sunday, and not have to worry about getting up at sparrow's fart to feed a ticket machine.

Clearly the machines need to be re-programmed so that, if you put money in on a Saturday, it gives you credit for Sunday. But then Thanet Council would lose out on some of their £200,000+ a year parking fine revenue, wouldn't they? After all, they need to do something to make up for the zero beach littering fines and four dog mess fines they issued last year!

Our foreign friend signs off with: 'Leopold Street car park also has an unpleasant stench of urine.' He's not wrong there.

Mess Fine Mess

Apols for the graphic picture, but it does rather illustrate what we're up against here. Yes, I'm talking barkers' nests.

We all know that a toddle along Thanet's pavements and promenades can be a bit like tip-toeing through the proverbials. Nowadays I have taken to walking with my head down, scanning for the offending items, in the hope that my diamond-studded Church's brogues can remain uncontaminated by the digested remains of Tyson's Chappie and chips, thereby missing out on the wonderful views our island has to offer.

Still, we do know from all those signs on every lamp post that any owners caught failing to clear up after Fido can be handed a, er, 'on the spot' fine of £75, or a maximum penalty of £1000 if they're taken to a magistrates' court.

So, how many dog doo-doo fines have our beloved Thanet Council issued in the past year then? Go on, take a guess. 100? 50? Well, following an FOI request by one of my lovely readers, I can tell you the answer is 4. F-O-U-R, four.

Another request for the number of beach litter fines issued in the last 12 months reveals an even lower figure. The lowest figure you can get, actually. That's right, a big fat zero. And that despite the worst litter seen on Margate Sands for 30 years, when it took a team of 12 cleaners an entire day and night to clear the beach after July's Jamaican party.

You'd think for a council that says it spends more on cleaning than any other, and which has just poured £3.4m down the TransEuropa plughole, they'd be a bit keener at recouping some of our council tax!! Kuh!!!

Ramsgate Now Grimmer Than Margate - Official

Yikes! According to a report from the Office for National Statistics on seaside towns, Ramsgate has overtaken Margate as one of the top deprived areas of the country. Thus proving that, in Thanet at least, it's grimmer down south.

The, er, Millionaires' Playground is now ranked as having the fifth highest level of poverty and social breakdown in the country, after Skegness, Blackpool, Clacton and Hastings. Margate came 7th.

Click here to read more in the Daily Mirror.

So, undeniable evidence there, if it was needed, that TDC's policy of pouring all the sponds into Margate and Cliftonville, and neglecting the sunny south side, has done its job as far as they're concerned.

Now would be a good time, then, to let the moths out of your wallets and spare a fiver or two for the deprived yoof of Ramsgate, who are organising a fantastic day of parkour, urban art and poetry at our lovely Eastcliff bandstand this coming Sunday. They're trying to raise £1500 for the event, and there's only a few days left to do it.

Click here to go to the website where you can donate.

So, whaddya waiting for? While you're counting out the cash, here's a short video showing you what they're going to be up to:

Ten Things You Didn't Know About TransEuropa

Only in your super, soaraway Gazunder! We profile the defunct ferry firm that cost Thanet's taxpayers a whopping £3.4m!!!!

1. The 'Trans' in TransEuropa is short for 'transvestite', as the company was founded in 1948 by Lichtenstein-based cross-dresser Maurie 'Mary' Mosenberg.

2. TransEuropa's first regular shipping assignment was ferrying proboscis monkeys from Zeebrugge to Harwich for Billy Smart's Circus.

3. In 1967 the company developed a nuclear powered hovercraft, although this project was dropped after failing to get certification from the UK Atomic Energy Authority.

4. In its heyday, TransEuropa's ferries used the entire oil output of Nigeria every year.

5. During each crossing between Ramsgate and Ostend, hungry truck drivers used to consume on average 4,953 burgers, and a staggering 6,832 sausages!

6. More loo roll was used on the company's ships each year than during the entire 2012 London Olympics.

7. The oddest cargo ever carried was a refrigerated container of wigs for BBC celebrities.

8. Every ferry in the TransEuropa fleet had a secret compartment for the owner's Bentley.

9. On one of TransEuropa's ferries, nicknamed The Golden Behind, there was a toilet made out of 18 carat gold in the captain's cabin.

10. Laid end-to-end, 3.4m pound coins would stretch all the way from Ramsgate to Margate, a distance of nearly five miles!

That's enough ferry facts - Ed.

Ferrygate - The Cover-Up Continues

Regular contributor Steve has sent me a copy of this reply to his Freedom of Information request for more details about the £3.4m TransEuropa scandal. It's from Thanet Council's Director of Operations Mark Seed.

Not that there's anything you could consider 'information' in it!

Thank you for your communication received on 20th May 2013 in which you requested information about the council's dealings with Transeuropa Ferries.

The information you request relates to meetings and other communications with Transeuropa since March 2011and this information would be directly relevant  to legal action taken by the council to recover the outstanding debt. Premature release of information relevant to a potential legal action could be significantly prejudicial to a legal case taken by the council.

It is almost certain that this information would be released into the public domain and lead directly to the prejudice to any potential case.

The council is owed over £3 million and any prejudice to legal action it may take would be significantly prejudicial to its commercial interests. The application of a public interest test in relation to this under Section 43 of the Freedom of Information Act relating to commercial interests has been applied to this situation and it is considered that the balance of public interest lies on the side of not releasing the information you have requested as the wider public interest lies in retaining the confidentiality of this information at this stage. This will remain the case until the issue with regard to the legal action to recover the Transeuropa debt is resolved.

However, I would wish to clarify a misunderstanding in your request as this seems to be based on an assumption that sums were being paid to Transeuropa, which was not the case. The council is owed money by the company and this sum remains payable. Given the position of the company the council is going to have to seek this sum from any assets owned by the company through legal action.

Ferrygate - One In The Eye For Thanet Council

I see my old chum Lord Gnome of the popular satirical magazine Private Eye has seen fit to publish my latest jottings about the ongoing £3.4m Ferrygate scandal today! In case you're too mean or stupid to trot along to the newsagents and buy a copy, here's what I wrote:

LOST AT SEA

Taxpayers are furious with Thanet council after discovering that it secretly sank millions into a failing ferry company - money that is now swimming with the fishes.

Thanet owns and runs the port of Ramsgate, home till recently of a tatty shipping line called TransEuropa Ferries. In spring 2011, TransEuropa, which employed Slovenian staff and carried mostly Eastern European lorries on ageing, Cypriot-registered ships between Ramsgate and Ostend, went to the council and confessed that it was skint, blaming the rise in fuel prices. TransEuropa had a proposition. If the council would let it off paying its bills it wouldn't go bust, saving the jobs of ten port staff - and only costing the taxpayer £120,000 a month! Thanet's chief exec Sue McGonigal agreed on condition the deal remained secret.

Last month the waters finally closed over TransEuropa. It emerged that under the clandestine deal Thanet had sunk £3.4m into the failing firm - almost a fifth of the council’s annual budget. Only McGonigal, a few senior council officers and the council leader appear to have been in on the secret. No specific mention was made in Thanet’s 2011/12 accounts, nor was provision made for potential losses. No mention of it was made at any public meeting of the council. Moreover, this enormous public subsidy to a foreign shipping company wasn’t even secured: all the Council had was a vague promise of jam tomorrow. The truth only emerged when TransEuropa’s other creditors forced the company into bankruptcy.

Now deprived Thanet is having to introduce deep cuts to make up for the shortfall, including slashing £1m from the housing budget. An application to TransEuropa’s Belgian administrator in the hope of retrieving some money is unlikely to amount to much, as the firm’s last two rustbuckets - its only assets - ended up in Ostend, and both are so old and knackered that they’re probably only worth their scrap value.

Despite calls for her resignation, the £114,000 chief exec has refused to go. The fact that the secret subsidy was instigated with a nod from Tory council leader Bob Bayford, and subsequently endorsed by Labour's Clive Hart when his party took control late in 2011, has worked to McGonigal's advantage, with both parties forced to argue that propping up TransEuropa was the only ‘sensible’ thing to do.

All this comes just weeks after Thanet’s former Tory leader, Eye favourite Sandy ‘Shagpile’ Ezekiel, was jailed for 18 months at Maidstone Crown Court for misconduct in a public office, following dodgy property deals. What a place!

And while we're on the subject of Private Eye, I see the latest edition of Thanet Watch, the self-styled 'Private Eye of Thanet', has published a transcript of my recent UKIP film (starring A. Hitler) without so much as a credit! Which is why I've just toddled around all the local newsagents replacing as many copies of Thanet Watch as I can find with the real Private Eye.

The weirdest thing, though, is that they've redacted all my spicy lingo apart from the phrase 'bell end'.

Ferrygate Fixed!

Cripes! I see that green machine Councillor Ian 'Pile' Driver has fixed it for me to have my ferry fiasco fixed!

A bit of background. I popped a complaint on the excellent FixMyStreet website yesterday, moaning about the £3.4m of council tax the Duffers have poured down the TransEuropa plughole. I wasn't really expecting a response, as the site is more concerned with barkers' nests, abandoned jalopies and street lights that are on the fritz.

But only 24 hours later, the Right Honourable Member for Northwood Ward has marked it as 'job done'! Hurrah! If only everything in life was that simple!