Confibula Comeodi

Or 'Clamp Comedians', as we say in the Queen's English. I see intrepid yourfannitinnit newshound Tom Betts has followed up his video of Dreamland's queer clampers with an exclusive front page splash today!

According to the paper at least one of the CSS Parking Solutions operatives who've been clamping little old ladies and demanding £120 for the release of their vehicles has not been properly licensed by the Security Industry Authority. It could mean that the poor, disabled 80 year olds with terminal illnesses that these people have been preying on at Dreamland, the Lido and other north island beauty spots may be able to reclaim their folding. Hurrah!

But that's not the end of Tom's revelations! The kitten-loving former Tory Mayor of Margate Ted Watt-Ruffell, who used to be Chief Clamper at Dreamland, reveals in the story that absentee former Tory councillor Panama Steve Broadhurst's company Probe no longer has the Dreamland security contract from our Jimmy's Margate Town Centre Regeneration Company. So who's keeping an eye on the place now? A carelessly discarded cigarette end, a clumsily knocked over can of unleaded, and it could be 7/4/08 all over again!

Click here to read full story in yourfannitinnit

Update: Knickers! Thanks to all who pointed out my link to yourfannitinit was bogus. It's fixed now. That's what you get for having to drink half a bottle of Buckfast just to take the edge off in the mornings.

Unhappy Clampers

Intrepid yourfannitinnit newshound Tom Betts has emailed me a link to this video he's put on BoobTube. It appears to show a firm of private clampers preying on an old lady who has had the temerity to leave her vehicle in the Dreamland car park. We know she's over 60 'cos we hear her plead 'The only form of identification I've got is my bus pass' as they ask her to prove whether she's good for the 120 sovs they want to rinse out of her. What makes this seem even more like legalised mugging is the opening shot of the ticket machine - clearly out of order and wrapped in plastic and gaffer tape. Where was she supposed to buy a ticket in the first place?

Tom has obviously filmed this clandestinely, hence the rather Roger Cook style of camerawork. In the clip he is repeatedly told to go away by the irate clamping operative, but manfully stands his ground. Good on yer Tom!

I wonder if the clampdown is run by Probe, the people who are responsible for Dreamland security? If so, it looks like another nice little earner for cat-killing ex-Tory Councillor Ted Watt-Ruffell, and his absentee boss, ex-Tory Councillor Panama Steve Broadhurst!

Update: This story is on the front page of today's (Wednesday's) yourfannitinnit. According to the paper, the clampers are a company called CSS Parking Solutions about whom very little seems to be know, except that they have a postal address at the Kent Innovation Centre in Broadstairs.

Click here to read yourfannitinnit online.