Annie Get Your Gloags

It can't have escaped your attention, dear reader, that there was an article in The Observer at the weekend questioning Ann Gloag's intentions over our dearly beloved former RAF London Kent Manston Margate Tracey Emin Chas 'n' Dave Maggie Thatcher Schipol Skyport Poundland International Airport.

You can read the Observer piece by clicking here.

The story was written by The Observer's Jamie Doward, who, I can reveal, lives in Whitstable. It seemed to be based on a single source - Cllr Simon Moores, friend of Sir Roger Gale and one of the island's high profile pro-Manston campaigners. Doward had previously written a positive piece about Simes being questioned under caution concerning the ongoing social media kerfuffle here on the island, so you can imagine why Simes would view the Observer hack as his new best chum.

And indeed, the Manston article did seem very pro-Manston, despite an unnamed source at the end (clearly Cllr Biggles) admitting that Thanet Council wouldn't have the dosh to take Ann Gloag all the way through the CPO process. It also perpetuated a number of Wiki-myths about the airport, such as it 'was designated as an emergency landing strip for the space shuttle', 'building homes on a graveyard has appalled some local people', not to mention leaving out the fact that it was losing £10K a day.

Would it be too much of a, er, flight of fancy to suggest that Doward's poorly researched article was motivated more by a desire to keep planes from flying over Whitstable if Boris Island was built? Perhaps, like the Save Manston Campaign which, I understand, has been hijacked by Rochester-based anti-Boris Island protesters, he needs to stop letting personal nimbyism get in the way of the facts. Kuh!

Meanwhile here's some more baloney about Manston by a fag-puffing dipsomaniac from West Kent who's been in the news recently...

Randomoanium

You know me, I like a good moan. But the weather's been so clement recently that I've been mainly whipping out my old throbber and thrashing it about a bit!

That said, I have been taking the odd snap on the way, so perhaps there's something to complain about on my camera roll...

Here's the crane taking the strain at that new development down on Ramsgate front. You know, what's it called, Watery Voles I think. Anyhow, they seem to be progressing at a pace. Much faster than that lot at the Pleasurama site ever did!

In fact there's building work going on all over the Millionaires' Playground, with developers finding no end of things to convert into luxury apartments. Hurrah! Of course, to feed the building boom you need the raw materials, which is probably why the mountains of hard core and gravel at the Bretts depot down at the port is growing like topsy...

Off to soggy Sandwich after that, and - Holy Noahs! Just like Russell Crowe, they seem to be building an Ark...

Not surprising after the recent inundations down there. Actually it's a £22m flood defence scheme, which means the Quay car park will be mostly hors de combat until some time in 2015.

Whistable next, and I was glad I'd donned my Rolex Oyster (Whitstable Edition) for the annual Toy Run hog-out...

Then later that day, back in Ramsgate, I happened to be trundling past The Goose (The Sovereign in, er, old money) on Harbour Street, which has been tarted up by the new owners...

Let's hope they've paid particular attention to the nasty khazis in there, otherwise their golden egg may end up cooked!

So, um, not a lot to whinge about really. Oh, apart from my brief flirtation with the eastern tip of the island, where I encountered this monstrosity...

A house covered in some kind of puke-inducing pink cladding! It's the architectural equivalent of a spray tan, and, of course can only be in Broadstairs, which generally requires four inches of bronzer and a pair of gold-plated hair straighteners to look even vaguely presentable. No wonder it's known around these parts as 'Boredstares'! Huh!

Restaurant Praised, Ramsgate Rubbished in Independent

I see Age & Sons, Ramsgate's premier eatery, has yet again won plaudits in the national press. Restaurant reviewer Tracey MacCleod gives the joint four stars out of five for food and service in today's Independent. However, she's less than complimentary about the island's premier town. She writes:

The once-thriving royal resort of Ramsgate should, in theory, be the perfect destination for a daytrip to the seaside, thanks to the imminent high-speed rail link from St Pancras. I had it all planned: a blustery walk on the beach, fish bought straight from the boat, perhaps a little antiques shopping, before a hearty lunch eaten in sight of the sea. I was thinking, it turns out, of Whitstable. Ramsgate is not, nor could ever be mistaken for, Whitstable.

The short taxi ride from station to harbour (courtesy of a driver with 'Love' and 'Hate' tattooed on his knuckles) took us past boarded-up shops and repossessed properties. It was clear that the flood of wealth which washed over south-east England during the last decade has largely by-passed this far easterly corner. As my fellow day-tripper Harry said, taking in the blighted landscape, 'Suddenly I see the point of Brighton'.

'Blighted landscape'? 'Boarded-up shops'? The knuckle-tattooed taxi driver didn't take you gullible DFLs via Margate, did he? And as for a 'blustery walk on the beach', 'fish straight from the boat' and 'antiques shopping', you could have done all those things here if you'd bothered to toddle a few yards, love. Not only that, but our beautiful Blue Flag beaches are sandy, not rocks/mud like those other places you mention.

As for Whitsta-bloody-bubble, I should jolly well hope Ramsgate could never be mistaken for the place, which these days is so crammed with middle class escapees from the smoke it resembles nothing more or less than an ethnically cleansed Islington-on-Sea. And last time I looked, Whitstable didn't have almost 1,000 listed buildings. Just a few tatty wooden shacks! Kuh!

Click here to read review of Age & Sons in the Independent

And click here to watch a repeat of Homes Under the Hammer on BBC iPlayer, in which the old Ramsgate police station, next door to Age & Sons, is given the makeover treatment by an accountant (Series 12, Episode 20)

Ramsgreat Idea!

The Independent on Sunday ran an article yesterday about the regeneration of the British seaside. Among the grand designs mentioned were Margate's Turnip Centre, and my old showbiz chum Roger de Courcey's plans for Folkestone.

But no mention of Ramsgate. Probably because our friends on Uranus and their pals at KCC have neglected to draw up any grand designs for the Millionaires' Playground. Apart from flogging the best off to developers, and allowing the rest to rot.

So to redress the balance, today I'm launching The Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate. It's a catchy title, I'm sure you'll agree, and is bound to attract a great deal of media attention. Just email your ideas to:

richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

The best of them will be published here, and the winner will receive a valuable signed photograph of yours truly. Plus my personal architect Mr Ceaucescu (no relation), who spent many years at the Janitorial Studies Department of the world renowned Ion Mincu Institute of Architecture in Bucharest, will turn your design into a working scale model (subject to completion of the guttering here at the old cliff top mansion).

So what are you waiting for? Let's put Ramsgate on the regeneration map!