Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support. If you want to know why I've stopped writing, there's an explanation here.
It seems you could get rid of me that easily after all.
Donations only please to:
The Richard Eastcliff Home For Confused Millionaires
PO Box 21
Cayman Islands
This blog has now been left to medical science, but will probably end up in one of those delicious pasties they sell round the back of Sweeney Todd's in King Street.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Fall Out
According to my site thingumejig, there's been a huge rise in visitors wishing to peep at my jottings today. Perhaps it's because it's all gone a bit Graham Norton around here of late, and people haven't been able to resist a gawp.
Still, there's no such thing as bad publicity, and with over a million visits in the bag in just under five months, and lots of stale old cages rattled, it's been quite a success. A lot of you have started blogs during that time, and some of them are pretty funny. I've especially enjoyed Scottie's toons, Nethercourt's taciturn musings, Artyblartfast's arty blasts, and Tony Flaig's cows and stuff, and that boy Dusty's showing promise too.
Keep up the good work! Be seeing you.
Still, there's no such thing as bad publicity, and with over a million visits in the bag in just under five months, and lots of stale old cages rattled, it's been quite a success. A lot of you have started blogs during that time, and some of them are pretty funny. I've especially enjoyed Scottie's toons, Nethercourt's taciturn musings, Artyblartfast's arty blasts, and Tony Flaig's cows and stuff, and that boy Dusty's showing promise too.
Keep up the good work! Be seeing you.
Eastcliff Google
Call me a vain ponce (again already), but I do think that nerdy bunch over at Google had me in mind when they designed the graphics for their celebration of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's birthday today.
It's captured the mystery of moi quite neatly, along with Scottie's new heritage lamp posts on Victoria Parade. They've even gone to the trouble of paying homage to my campaign to track down the dirty dogs whose Barkers' Nests I'm constantly treading in.
Take a look...
It's captured the mystery of moi quite neatly, along with Scottie's new heritage lamp posts on Victoria Parade. They've even gone to the trouble of paying homage to my campaign to track down the dirty dogs whose Barkers' Nests I'm constantly treading in.
Take a look...
Blog Jam
There's one born every minute in blogland, and with a reputation to maintain as the first to find the new blogs in town, say hello to Dane Valley Ted and another shining wit (who seems to have started a site in response to the spot of bother we had here recently. Tut tut, such pettiness).
It's early days for both, so I won't elevate them to millionaires' row until they're a bit further down the road to becoming bloggastars like me. And, of course, unlike some other selective Thanet blogs I could name, once you've made millionaires' row, you'll stay there. Well, in one form or another.
It's early days for both, so I won't elevate them to millionaires' row until they're a bit further down the road to becoming bloggastars like me. And, of course, unlike some other selective Thanet blogs I could name, once you've made millionaires' row, you'll stay there. Well, in one form or another.
Fresh Start
Well thank heavens it's a new week and we can put all that unsavoury twat talk behind us.
Although I'm not feeling too fresh, as it happens, having only just got back from the Beckhams' bash. David said the rumour that he was going to do the old WW II fly past thing was totally unfounded, and that he's 100% behind the FA's line that there should be no chants of 'Two World Wars And One World Cup' during the finals in Krautland.
So we had to make do with some chappie in a Cessna, tugging a banner which read 'Margate Gent's A Twit', whatever that means. What a mix-up.
Right, I'm off to do the crossword, that should get the old grey cells pinging!
Although I'm not feeling too fresh, as it happens, having only just got back from the Beckhams' bash. David said the rumour that he was going to do the old WW II fly past thing was totally unfounded, and that he's 100% behind the FA's line that there should be no chants of 'Two World Wars And One World Cup' during the finals in Krautland.
So we had to make do with some chappie in a Cessna, tugging a banner which read 'Margate Gent's A Twit', whatever that means. What a mix-up.
Right, I'm off to do the crossword, that should get the old grey cells pinging!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
The Wrath Of Bond
I see Dr Roger Moore over on Thanet Life has erased the link to my humble jottings from his blog. Of course, this might well apply to any of you bloglings who dare to step out of line, so be warned - don't mess with the Doc!
I, on the other hand, am much too magnanimous to do anything so petty.
I, on the other hand, am much too magnanimous to do anything so petty.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Lotto Trouble
Eamonn kept his wig on during the invasion of the live National Lottery draw this evening by protesters.
As did Sir Terry during the Eurovision Song Contest immediately afterwards.
As did Sir Terry during the Eurovision Song Contest immediately afterwards.
Caught Nappying
Scanning through the Netto supplement for some low rent gnomes this afternoon, I came across this. I must say I almost choked on my Monte Cristo. How on earth did this poor little feller get the modelling job? I know his mum must love him, and Netto have to appeal to all types around here, but honestly.
On second thoughts, I did hear a rumour that Sandy Beach's baby photos had gone missing...
Raider v Bond: Adjudication
OFBLOG CONTENTS SANCTION COMMITTEE
Consideration of: Ram Skate Raider/Dr James Bond
For: Alleged breaches in blogging code
On: 17 May 2006
SUMMARY
1. It is alleged that, on the above date, Mr Raider added a comment to a post entitled 'Blog Eat Blog', on the blog entitled 'Eastcliff Richard', in which he used the expressions 'steaming great twat' and 'utterly contemptuous prick'.
2. The content of the post referred to Dr Bond, and therefore, in the context, the comments would appear to have been aimed at Dr Bond.
3. Dr Bond subsequently emailed the blog's moderator, Mr Eastcliff, to the effect:
'Ramskate's comment... is a little personal and offensive don't you think?
Regards
SimonM'
4. Mr Eastcliff subsequently wrote a post entitled 'Nasty Complaint', in which he outlined the nature Dr Bond's objection, and asked Mr Raider to 'do the decent thing' and self moderate (i.e trash) the comment concerned. Mr Eastcliff made clear in his statement that it was not generally his policy to remove other people's comments on his blog unless they contained extreme bad taste, libel, or unnecesary vulgarity. Mr Eastcliff also made clear that he regarded public debate in the comments section of his blog as the best means of redressing any offence, unless such comments descended into 'petty bickering'.
5. Mr Raider subsequently posted a comment to the effect that he would make no further contributions to the blog.
6. No further communication has been received from Dr Bond.
DECISION
It is therefore the panel's decision that:
1. All toys must be put away BEFORE bedtime.
2. The choo-choo train goes directly in the tunnel, without smearing itself over the entrance walls first.
3. Rattles should under no circumstances be thrown from the pram while it is moving.
4. The wheels on the bus go round and round.
5. Oops a daisy.
Ofblog Contents Sanction Committee
20 May 2006
Consideration of: Ram Skate Raider/Dr James Bond
For: Alleged breaches in blogging code
On: 17 May 2006
SUMMARY
1. It is alleged that, on the above date, Mr Raider added a comment to a post entitled 'Blog Eat Blog', on the blog entitled 'Eastcliff Richard', in which he used the expressions 'steaming great twat' and 'utterly contemptuous prick'.
2. The content of the post referred to Dr Bond, and therefore, in the context, the comments would appear to have been aimed at Dr Bond.
3. Dr Bond subsequently emailed the blog's moderator, Mr Eastcliff, to the effect:
'Ramskate's comment... is a little personal and offensive don't you think?
Regards
SimonM'
4. Mr Eastcliff subsequently wrote a post entitled 'Nasty Complaint', in which he outlined the nature Dr Bond's objection, and asked Mr Raider to 'do the decent thing' and self moderate (i.e trash) the comment concerned. Mr Eastcliff made clear in his statement that it was not generally his policy to remove other people's comments on his blog unless they contained extreme bad taste, libel, or unnecesary vulgarity. Mr Eastcliff also made clear that he regarded public debate in the comments section of his blog as the best means of redressing any offence, unless such comments descended into 'petty bickering'.
5. Mr Raider subsequently posted a comment to the effect that he would make no further contributions to the blog.
6. No further communication has been received from Dr Bond.
DECISION
It is therefore the panel's decision that:
1. All toys must be put away BEFORE bedtime.
2. The choo-choo train goes directly in the tunnel, without smearing itself over the entrance walls first.
3. Rattles should under no circumstances be thrown from the pram while it is moving.
4. The wheels on the bus go round and round.
5. Oops a daisy.
Ofblog Contents Sanction Committee
20 May 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Eyebrow Stuff
Watching Fiona Bruce introducing a news item about the wacky Finnsh Eurovision entry this evening, I was reminded that, many years ago, I was privileged to witness her fronting her own popular beat combo.
Imaginatively called Don't Chew Blu Tac, the group featured our Fi screaming tunelessly into a microphone, whilst writhing around in a scanty dress that barely covered her modesty. It was really quite shocking.
Nonetheless, it's good to see that, though she's now the serious face of the BBC's Have I Got The Ten O'Clock News For You, she's still raising eyebrows.
And talking of bands, how awfully rotten to see Heather Mills McCartney trying to take Sir Paul to the cleaners. My sources reliably inform me, however, that she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Imaginatively called Don't Chew Blu Tac, the group featured our Fi screaming tunelessly into a microphone, whilst writhing around in a scanty dress that barely covered her modesty. It was really quite shocking.
Nonetheless, it's good to see that, though she's now the serious face of the BBC's Have I Got The Ten O'Clock News For You, she's still raising eyebrows.
And talking of bands, how awfully rotten to see Heather Mills McCartney trying to take Sir Paul to the cleaners. My sources reliably inform me, however, that she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Snake In The Grass
According to The Isle Of Thanet Gazunder today, a row has broken out over the ownership of the snake found in a pot plant at Homebase last week.
Two people have apparently come forward to claim the snake. Negating the obvious answer of chopping the reptilian in two and giving both 'owners' half each, the RSPCA say it will now be found a new home.
Apparently they've got their eye on an eminently suitable industrial unit in Whitehall Road which has been carefully planted to reproduce the snake's natural habitat.
Two people have apparently come forward to claim the snake. Negating the obvious answer of chopping the reptilian in two and giving both 'owners' half each, the RSPCA say it will now be found a new home.
Apparently they've got their eye on an eminently suitable industrial unit in Whitehall Road which has been carefully planted to reproduce the snake's natural habitat.
State Of The Union
My fellow Thanetonians.
As I gaze down upon your small island from my orbiting cryo-cyberspace station 200 miles above, I see a nation divided. To the south I see wealth, happiness and naked virgins gaily cavorting in the Caribbean sunshine. To the north I see squalor, deprivation and tattooed pit bulls fanning the flames of hate and greed. (Applause.)
This state of affairs, which the journalists Mooreward and Flaigstein have called 'The Margate Scandal', must come to an end. I have instructed the Director Of The FBI, Davros Undercarriage III, to investigate, and he has already impeached a couple of ice cream vendors and dog called Butch. The investigation is progressing surely and swiftly to its inevitable conclusion, and it is only a matter of time before the winds of change reap their revenge on the seeds that have been sown by a rolling stone which gathers no moss. (Applause.)
I feel certain you will agree that, if this situation is not nipped in the bud, people will begin to vote with their feet. Frankly, I would vote with my feet too, if they weren't like blocks of ice. Would somebody turn the frigging heating up in here, please. (Applause.)
May God continue to bless the United States of America. (Applause.)
Richard M Nixon, President
As I gaze down upon your small island from my orbiting cryo-cyberspace station 200 miles above, I see a nation divided. To the south I see wealth, happiness and naked virgins gaily cavorting in the Caribbean sunshine. To the north I see squalor, deprivation and tattooed pit bulls fanning the flames of hate and greed. (Applause.)
This state of affairs, which the journalists Mooreward and Flaigstein have called 'The Margate Scandal', must come to an end. I have instructed the Director Of The FBI, Davros Undercarriage III, to investigate, and he has already impeached a couple of ice cream vendors and dog called Butch. The investigation is progressing surely and swiftly to its inevitable conclusion, and it is only a matter of time before the winds of change reap their revenge on the seeds that have been sown by a rolling stone which gathers no moss. (Applause.)
I feel certain you will agree that, if this situation is not nipped in the bud, people will begin to vote with their feet. Frankly, I would vote with my feet too, if they weren't like blocks of ice. Would somebody turn the frigging heating up in here, please. (Applause.)
May God continue to bless the United States of America. (Applause.)
Richard M Nixon, President
That Referendum Result In Full
So, now you've all safely nodded off in front of the computer, it's time to announce the result of my 'Vote For Me!' referendum.
Richard Millhouse Nixon - 1 vote
That Bald Bloke With The Permanent Suntan Who Hangs Around Outside Schools - 1 vote
Dr Roger Moore - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore)
Dr Roger Moore's evil alter-ego - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore) (assumed)
Nick Dorman - 1 expression of disgust (Ram Skate Raider).
There was a late entry by Kevin The Geologist, who suggested I might be Cliff Richard, but that's just ridiculous.
We therefore have a tie. However, under the recently introduced George W. Bush Rules Of Voterisation, dodgy politicians take preference over sick perverts (just), and I therefore declare Richard Millhouse Nixon the winner by a margin of minus ten votes.
By the time you wake up with your chins covered in drool, Tricky Dicky will be in charge. God Bless America.
Richard Millhouse Nixon - 1 vote
That Bald Bloke With The Permanent Suntan Who Hangs Around Outside Schools - 1 vote
Dr Roger Moore - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore)
Dr Roger Moore's evil alter-ego - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore) (assumed)
Nick Dorman - 1 expression of disgust (Ram Skate Raider).
There was a late entry by Kevin The Geologist, who suggested I might be Cliff Richard, but that's just ridiculous.
We therefore have a tie. However, under the recently introduced George W. Bush Rules Of Voterisation, dodgy politicians take preference over sick perverts (just), and I therefore declare Richard Millhouse Nixon the winner by a margin of minus ten votes.
By the time you wake up with your chins covered in drool, Tricky Dicky will be in charge. God Bless America.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Cool Dudes
I just pinned back me lugholes and had a listen to Kevin The Geologist's latest 'bcast' on the Oonagi Thanet Rocks site. In it Kevin (aka Dusty) discusses the local music scene with another 'cool dude'.
Mind you, he needs to pay a bit more attention to his audio levels. When the Candy Sniper track came on, it blew all the circuits in my deaf aid.
I do hope Kevin keeps up his passionate campaign to transform the Ile into 'Groove Island'. It would make a nice change. After all, currently you only ever hear the word 'hip' around here when it immediately precedes the word 'replacement'.
Mind you, he needs to pay a bit more attention to his audio levels. When the Candy Sniper track came on, it blew all the circuits in my deaf aid.
I do hope Kevin keeps up his passionate campaign to transform the Ile into 'Groove Island'. It would make a nice change. After all, currently you only ever hear the word 'hip' around here when it immediately precedes the word 'replacement'.
Hog Out!
Lumme! Two of those old crones propelled by Davros style undercarriages just burned past the CTM in convoy. They must have started some kind of Heaven's Devils club. There goes the neighbourhood.
Keep Those Votes Pouring In
A big thankyou to all my readers for the terrific response to my 'Vote For Me!' referendum. Early indications are:
Richard Millhouse Nixon - 1 vote
Dr Roger Moore - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore)
Dr Roger Moore's evil alter-ego - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore) (assumed)
Nick Dorman - 1 expression of disgust (Ram Skate Raider).
It's all to play for, so keep the votes coming. The final result, as is traditional, will be announced by David Dimbleby just after you've nodded off.
Richard Millhouse Nixon - 1 vote
Dr Roger Moore - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore)
Dr Roger Moore's evil alter-ego - 1 vote against (by Dr Roger Moore) (assumed)
Nick Dorman - 1 expression of disgust (Ram Skate Raider).
It's all to play for, so keep the votes coming. The final result, as is traditional, will be announced by David Dimbleby just after you've nodded off.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Football Fever
Come on you Irons! No, er, that was last week. Anyway, Angela rang to remind me that the Frenchies from Highbury are playing Barcelona in the European whatsit tonight, as if we won't have been subjected to enough soccer by the end of this summer.
I said I was rather surprised to discover she was a fan, but she assured me that her husband Gerald often takes her up the Arsenal.
Flaming Nora these botty gags have got to stop.
I said I was rather surprised to discover she was a fan, but she assured me that her husband Gerald often takes her up the Arsenal.
Flaming Nora these botty gags have got to stop.
Uranus Clears Back Passage
Shock horror! I was walking back to the CTM from Postman Patel's teeny tiny post office just now, when I spied a TDC truck clearing away what resembled an old delivery of Wilkinsons crap from one of the small alleyways leading off Augusta Road. Shelves, TVs, boxes, and half a ton of barkers'.
Hurrah! Things really can only get better! No, hang on, that was Labour wasn't it?
Hurrah! Things really can only get better! No, hang on, that was Labour wasn't it?
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